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老式建筑遗留的缺点与解决方法英语句式讲解

时间:2018-01-13 14:47:37本文内容及图片来源于读者投稿,如有侵权请联系xuexila888@qq.com 晓琼 我要投稿

  编者按:老式建筑已经是多年前存留下来的,它的建筑到现在可能会存在一些问题,有些优缺点需要我们去注意的。

老式建筑遗留的缺点与解决方法英语句式讲解

  Currently, it is true that several towns and cities architected some decades before, which has been considerably affecting a lot. In light of the circumstance, this essay will illustrate some negative effects, followed by several potent methods to address it.

  1. 首先currently用得很不恰当,题目里的现象,建筑老化这个问题并不是近期才出现的,题目是让讨论这个现象。想清楚再写,套模板写得快。

  2. Itis true that 这个模板写太啰嗦,题目都已经提出来这个现象存在了,写它true,然后再重复一遍毫无意义,所以换一种表达方式:“现在仍然有很多地方保留老实的建筑风格。”这样是不是更好一点?

  修改后:

  Nowadays, there are still many places that maintain historical construction styles. it has been considered to result in some problems. In this essay, the author will illustrate two negative impacts, followed by several potent methods to address it.

  In general, this circumstance contributes to two major problems, citizen’s accommodation and the national prosperity. For one thing, in that period, it is obvious that buildings constructed were low. As a result, at present, those old houses not only cannot offer enough places for people to live but also occupy land, leading to the shortage of accommodation. For another, the driven force behind is that science and technology before are not as advanced as nowadays, so infrastructures and traffic conditions such as roods, public transportation and traffic indicators are poor and outdated. This means those numerous old facilities will affect the national development as well as prosperity.

  1. 记住,主体段的第一句话是topic sentence,也就是中心句,是考官看你这段的切入点,尽量用一句概括性的陈述句概括本段的意思。所以范文里的中心句就是第一句。

  2. 逻辑很好,第一点:老式建筑一般矮,放现在住不了那么多人,还占地方。第二点:老式建筑或设施装备破旧,适应不了现代化生产的要求。我很喜欢你的两个小点,只是语言表达上不够精炼,你看看我的范文,对比一下。

  修改后:

  In general, this circumstance leads to twomajor problems. First, old building cannot match citizens’ accommodation requirements now. For example, most buildings constructed in previous centuries are in low heights, which cannot provide sufficient room for living and even occupy excessive lands. Secondly, the driven force differs with society developing. This implies old infrastructures and transportation facilities have become obsolete and outdated. Hence, these old facilities will affect national development as well as prosperity.

  In addressing the situation, real estate agencies, the government and citizens should collaborate. Form companies’ perspective, they should allocate large amount of revenue and resources to construct the relevant advanced infrastructures and modern tall building. As for the government, a series of laws and rules should be formulated and translated into action to regulate construction property companies. What is more, it is the duty of government to make wise urban planning. Also, the citizens should comply with the decisions of the government; instead of occupy the land selfless.

  1. 说实话,这篇文章里,你的逻辑表现得非常棒,这一段一共三个方面,建筑公司,政府,市民,面面俱到。

  2. Government前面加the是特指,你这里是泛指,不用加the。

  3. Realestate agencies是房地产公司或者房地产中介的意思。

  4. Selfless是形容词,无私的意思,你这里要用自私地,而且是副词。

  5. 语言表达问题具体参见范文。

  In order to solve this problem, construction companies, governments and citizens should collaborate. From companies’ perspective, they need improve standards of construction to build more advanced infrastructures or buildings, which is updated to rising modern social requires. As for governments, a series of policies should be implemented to regulate construction companies and governments’ responsibility of urban plan-making is also needed. Finally, citizens should comply with relevant principles rather than occupying the land selfishly.

  As indicated above, many towns and cities designed and constructed in the previous centuries lead to two major problems: shortage of citizen’saccommodation and affect the national prosperity. To cope with this issue, the authority, enterprises and individuals should join together to tackle thissituation.

  1. Join together? 可以说work jointly。

  Feedback

  Tr:6

  Cc:6

  Lr:5

  G: 5

  Total:5.5

  作者| Lynn

  公众号: 雅思写作王

  本文为原创文章,版权归作者所有,未经授权不得转载!


老式建筑遗留的缺点与解决方法英语句式讲解

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