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I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.
When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don't take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), you can't be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in essence, you don't love them at your full potential!
Here are some things to consider —
1. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourishyourself with the right foods, get enough sleep, exercise, are at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I betyour energy is low, you're tired and stressed, and your confidence isn't the highest (because you probably don't feel your best). Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren't exhausted, you're happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren't on edge with stress.
2. Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we're so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it's in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way —great! But if you self-soothein destructiveways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it's not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren't an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you're around will feel the effects, too.
3. How's your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being in tunewith your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and have gratitudefor all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.
Be kind to yourself.It can be difficult to put your health and wellbeing first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your wellbeing and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractionsand feel that peace.
I do trust, my dearest, that you have been employing this bright day for both of us; for I have spent it in my dungeon, and the only light that broke upon me was when I opened your letter.
I am sometimes driven to wish that you and I could mount upon a cloud (as we used to fancy in those heavenly walks of ours). And be home quite out of sight and hearing of the world; for now all the people in the world seem to come between us. How happy were Adam and Eve!
There was no third person to come between them, and all the infinity around them only seemed to press their hearts closer together. We love one another as well as there is no silent and love garden of Eden for us. Will you sail away with me to discover some summer island?
Do you not think that god has reserved one for us, ever since the beginning of the world? Foolish that I am to raise a question of it, since we have found such an Eden such an island sacred to us two whenever we have been together!
Men we are the Adam and Eve of a virgin earth. Now, good - bye; for voices are babbling around me and I should not wonder if you were to hear the echo of them while you read this letter.
Lesson one: New challenges require new ways of thinking
Part car, part jet fighter, part spaceship, Bloodhound SSC aims to be the first land vehicle to break the 1,000mph barrier. One of the key challenges has been to design the wheels. How do you create the fastest wheels in history, make them stable and reliable at supersonic speeds, and with limited resources?
After much deliberation, and devising ideas that pushed the boundaries of material technology, Mark Chapman, chief engineer of the Bloodhound project said the team decided to take a step back and change the way they were trying to solve problems. “There’s very little we’ve actually developed that’s new,” he says, “what’s unique is how we apply technologies.”
They adopted an approach called the design of experiments – a mathematical technique of problem solving through doing lots of little experiments and then looking at the statistics all glued together. “All of a sudden, where we’d been knocking our head against the wall for maybe two, three, four months, we came up with a wheel design that would hold together and was strong enough,” he says.
Lesson two: Let evidence shape your opinion
Like his peers, geophysicist Steven Jacobsen from Northwestern University believed that water on Earth originated from comets. But by studying rocks, which allow scientists to peer back in time, he discovered water hidden inside ringwoodite, which lies in the Earth’s mantle, and which suggests that the oceans gradually made its way out of the planet’s interior many centuries ago.
“I had a pretty hard time convincing others,” he admits. Yet two key pieces of evidence uncovered this year seem to support his point of view. Time will tell whether the new theories are true, and there may be further twists to the tale. “But thinking about the fact that you may be the first person to see something for the first time doesn’t happen very often,” he says. “When it does it’s thrilling.”
Lesson three: It really is 99% perspiration
Sheila Nirenberg at Cornell University is trying to develop a new prosthetic device for treating blindness. Key to this was cracking the code that transmits information from the eye to the brain. “Once I realised this, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep – all I wanted to do was work,” says Nirenberg.
“Sometimes I’m exhausted and I get burnt out,” she adds. “But then I get an email from somebody in crisis or somebody who’s getting macular degeneration, and they can’t see their own children’s faces, and it is like, ‘How can I possibly complain?’ It gives me the energy to just go back and keep doing it.”
Lesson four: The answer isn’t always what you expect
Sylvia Earle has spent decades trying to see the ocean with new eyes. Her “dream machine” is a submarine that could take scientists all the way to the bottom of the deepest ocean floor. What sort of material could best withstand the types of pressure you would encounter thousands of miles below the ocean surface? “It could be steel, it could be titanium, it could be some sort of ceramic, or some kind of aluminium system,” says Earle. “But glass is the ultimate material.” By her estimates, a glass sphere about four-to-six inches (10-15cm) thick should be able safely explore the ocean depths she dreams of exploring.
Glass is the oldest material known to man and one of the least understood, says Tony Lawson, Earle’s engineering director at Deep Ocean and Exploration Research Marine. “It has a higgledy-piggledy molecular structure a bit like a liquid, rather than the ordered lattices often found in other solids. As a result, when glass is evenly squeezed from all sides – as it would be under the ocean – the molecules cram closer together and form a tighter structure.
Lesson five: A little luck goes a long way
It was hailed as one of the biggest success stories in the history of space exploration – 20 years of planning ended earlier this year with the Philae lander rendezvousing with Comet 67P over 300 million miles (480 million kilometres) away from Earth.
The biggest challenge, says Stephan Ulamec, manager of the Philae lander programme, was how to design a probe to land on a body whose makeup they had little knowledge about. “We had no idea of the size, we had no idea of the day-night cycle, which influences the thermal design, we had no idea of the gravity, so how fast would the lander impact, we had no idea how the surface looked,” he says.
They needed to create design parameters that could cope with an extremely wide range of possible comet structures – but banked on the comet being a relatively even potato shape with enough flat surfaces for the probe to land on. Even then, not everything went to plan, and two decades of meticulous planning could have failed within minutes at touchdown. Philae's anchoring harpoons didn't fire as planned, and it bounced off the comet before settling onto its icy surface and successfully beaming data back to its relieved creators.
Lesson six: Genius is indefinable
“It’s a funny word: the word ‘genius’,” says Nirenberg. “I just sort of ignore it and just go on with life. You just do what you do independent of whatever label’s attached to you. I don’t know really how else to explain it.”