学习啦【英语诗歌】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”
To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”
“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"
The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”
" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"
The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”
There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”
"That's wonderful!"said his wife delightedly. But then she thought for a few seconds and added angrily，"But wait a moment! How could you afford to buy the ticket?".