双语阅读：男人不该结婚的十大理由

　　摘要：你该结婚吗?你是男人吗?先回答第二个问题。如果第二个答案是"yes"的话，那么第一个答案明显是"No"。 实际上，婚姻远非人们所想。过去几十年，结婚这种神圣而古老的婚恋习俗已逐渐退化为一场噩梦，纯粹劳力伤财，尤其是对男性来讲。

　　Should you ever get married? Are you a man?Answer the second question first. If the answer tothe second question is "Yes", then the obviousanswer to the first question is, "NO!" The fact is,marriage has never been all that it's cracked up tobe. And in the past few decades, this venerable oldinstitution has actually degenerated even furtherinto an absolute soul and wallet draining wakingnightmare, especially for the male of the species.

　　There used to be a great many practical and logistical reasons why marriage was an idealarrangement (albeit, from vastly different points of view) for both men and women. However,in the 21st century, the majority of those reasons have passed into the murky mists ofhistory. Today, it simply makes more sense not to get married. It's one thing to fall in love,another to surrender your emotional and economic freedom.

　　你该结婚吗?你是男人吗?先回答第二个问题。如果第二个答案是"yes"的话，那么第一个答案明显是"No"。 实际上，婚姻远非人们所想。过去几十年，结婚这种神圣而古老的婚恋习俗已逐渐退化为一场噩梦，纯粹劳力伤财，尤其是对男性来讲。

　　曾经，许多现实原因表明婚姻对男女来说都是最理想的安排(尽管从不同方面来讲)。然而，在21世纪，大多数这些原因已经消失在历史的迷雾中。如今，不结婚更合乎情理。毕竟，相爱是一回事， 放弃情感及经济自由又是另一回事。

　　10.She's Going To Gain Weight, No Matter What (So Are You, By The Way)

　　10.不管怎样，她会增重(随便提一下，你也会)

　　If she gets pregnant, she's obviously going to gain weight (Score one for all you CaptainObvious fans). But, even if you remain childless, the both of you are going to gain weight. Infact, in many ways, the first five years of a marriage are a slow but steady race to see who canlet themselves go the farthest, for the longest amount of time, with the fewest possiblerepercussions.

　　如果她怀孕，那她肯定会增重(这显而易见)。但即使不要孩子，你俩也会增重。实际上，在很多方面，结婚头五年像一场缓慢持久的比赛，看谁走得更远，坚持最久，受影响最小。

　　According to a recent study conducted by the University of Queensland in Australia, women wholive with a partner (in this case, let's go ahead and read husband) tend to gain more weightthan women who live completely alone. Is it hard to understand why this should be?

　　据澳大利亚昆士兰大学的一项最新研究表明，与伴侣同住的女性(这种情况，我们可进一步称之为丈夫)比独居的女性更易增重。很难理解为什么是这样吗?

　　No, it really isn't. The fact is, women who are in a secure, exclusive, and committedrelationship, particularly one that has been formalized with a legal ceremony and a weddingring, feel no twinge of guilt whatsoever in gradually letting of the svelte little bod they had onoffer back in your courtin' days. And, honestly, are they wrong? Is a gain of ten pounds goingto nullify your wedding vows? Do you have a leg to stand on in court over this trifling matter?

　　不，不难理解。实际上，处于安全、专一、忠诚的男女关系中的女性，尤其是举行过婚礼、佩戴婚戒的已婚女士，完全不会为失去热恋期间小巧、曼妙的身姿而痛心、愧疚。但实话说，她们(这样)有错吗?增重十磅违背结婚誓言了吗?你会为这区区小事而对簿公堂吗?

　　Of course, the female side is taking the brunt of the argument in this particular scenarioprecisely because this article is being written from the male point of view. Trust us, tough guy,women notice when you pack on the pounds as well.

　　当然，这篇文章从男性角度来讲，女性无疑是争论焦点。相信我，型男，你增重时，女士也会格外注意。

　　9.Marriage Shuts Down All Other Possible Options, Permanently

　　9.婚姻永久斩断一切其他可能

　　Not sure what you're getting into? Don't know how you really feel about not having the luxuryof keeping all your other options open? Not keen on consigning your "Little Black Book" to theflames? In short, are you getting more than just the normally described case of cold feet overyou impending nuptials?

　　不确定你会面对什么?不知道放弃其他一切可能感觉如何?不想把"爱情黑名单"付之一炬?简言之，你比普通所说的婚前恐惧感受更深吗?

　　If this is the case, it's more than an ominous sign for the future of your marriage. We'd say it'smore in the line of a direct express telegram from the Bachelor Deity, warning you to shake offthe chains before they bind you fast in the fetters of unsuitable monogamy.

　　假如真是如此，那么这远不止是你婚姻生活的不祥之兆。在神学士的自白表达中更为多见，警告你赶紧松手，以免陷入婚姻的枷锁，被一夫一妻制所辖制。

　　Marriage means an end to all the casual dates (and the casual sex). Marriage means that youwake up with the same person, morning after morning, after love making, after arguing, aftermany nights of sheer, soul lacerating boredom. Marriage demands the state of monogamy,which, from a male point of view, may as well be more accurately labeled, "monotony". It's theend of your freedom and all of your options.

　　婚姻意味着所有临时约会(和随意性交)的终结。结婚意味着你在随后无数个早晨都将和同一个女人一起醒来，不管你们昨晚是做爱，吵架还是无聊至极。婚姻需要"一夫一妻"，从男性角度讲，"单调乏味"也许更为贴切。婚姻是你自由和所有选择的终点。

　　To put it bluntly, when you enter into the bonds of marriage, you're stuck with each other, untildeath do you part. There's a reason that these phrases sound so ominous and so final –they're designed to be. Of course, nowadays the radical cure of divorce is far more easilyavailable than it used to be. But if you're already reassuring yourself with such thoughts thisearly in the game, it's just another little hint that you really aren't ready for the bigcommitment.

　　说穿了，步入婚姻，夫妻双方彼此束缚，只有死亡才可分离。这话听起来很不妙也很绝对—因为它们注定如此。当然，如今离婚处理起来比以往容易得多。但还未结婚你就用这样的想法给自己打气，这只能说你还没为婚姻做好充分准备。

　　8.Getting Shacked Up Will Empty Your Wallet For Years To Come

　　8.就同居这事儿，就能让你穷上好几年

　　The average total cost of a wedding in the United States is currently in excess of ,000.

　　现如今，在美国，平均的婚礼开支已经超过了三万美元。

　　According to a recent survey published by CNN on their official website, the total costs of theaverage American wedding break down as follows:

　　CNN在其官方网站上进行了一项调查发现，美国人的婚礼开支由以下几个部分构成：

　　,000 to rent the venue where the event will be held.

　　婚礼场地租金：14000美元

　　,800 to buy the ring.

　　婚戒：5800美元

　　,500 to hire the band.

　　乐队：3500美元

　　 catering costs per invitee.

　　酒席：68美元/人

　　9 per printed wedding invitation.

　　请帖：439美元/版

　　5 per set of miscellaneous party favors.

　　特色婚礼小礼品：275美元/套

　　An average of 43 percent of the total cost of the wedding will be paid for by the parents of thebride, which leaves someone else – namely, you – on the hook for the remaining 57 percent.Greater minds than yours have furrowed their brows in despair at the escalating costs and thelong years of their lives about to spent in making payments on a plan. While many havesurvived this ultimate ordeal, there are plenty more who wonder what demon whispered intheir ear to make them sign on the dotted line and wreck their lives.

　　一般来说，新娘的父母会支付43%的婚礼开支，这就意味着，剩下的57%由你解决。比你更聪明的人也难免因开支增长或多年缩衣节食度日而失望、头大。尽管很多人把这些都挺过去了，但是更多人还是想知道他们是怎么鬼使神差地在结婚文件上签了字，以致摧毁了自己的后半生。

　　It's easy to see why many young people of marriageable age choose not to tie the knot. Itsimply costs too much! Being tied to a payment plan is no one's idea of a good start to anyrelationship, particularly one that is scheduled to last for the rest of your natural lives. In fact,there's only one thing that costs more than marriage: Divorce.

　　很多适婚年轻男女选择不结婚其实很好理解，只因婚姻实在成本过高!想到要缩衣节食、量米度日，谁还有心思开展人际交往，更不用说要共度余生了!实际上，世上仅有一件事比结婚成本更高—那就是离婚!

　　7.Marriage Is Essentially Nothing More Than A Blizzard Of Paperwork