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1分钟英文小笑话精选

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-12

  多讲点笑话,以幽默的态度处事,这样子日子会好过一点。下面是学习啦小编带来的1分钟英文小笑话,欢迎阅读!

  1分钟英文小笑话精选

  (一)

  A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum.They came across one individual in the grounds,with wild eyes,dishevelled hair,feverishly endeavouring to catchflies and keep them in his pocket.

  一群游客被领着参观一所疯人院。在院子里他们遇见一个人,他长着一双疯狂的眼睛,头发蓬乱,正狂热地设法逮住苍蝇,把它们装在他的口袋里。

  His was a sad case,said the attendant.Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man.

  他的病很惨,陪同人说。在他当兵打仗的时候,他的妻子抛下他的家和另一个男人私奔了。

  Terrible,said a visitor.

  真可怕,一个游客说。

  Presently they came to a padded cell,in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.

  不久他们来到一间安上软垫的小屋前,听见里面传出野兽般的怒吼。

  That's the other man,said the attendant.

  这就是那另一个男人,陪同人说。

  (二)

  Santa of course!

  当然是圣诞老人啦!

  On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

  Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

  圣诞节前夕,圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物,以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯,门还未开前,三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票,猜猜谁会将它捡起?

  答案:当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

  1分钟英文小笑话阅读

  (一)

  圣诞派对上得搞笑对话

  "Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?" said a boy to a girl.

  一个小男孩跟小女孩说:“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”

  "Well, do you know who I am?" inquired the girl.

  小女孩回答到:“啊哈,你知道我是谁吗?”

  "No." replied the boy.

  小男孩回答道:“不知道。”

  "I'm the head teacher's daughter", replied the girl.

  小女孩说:“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。”

  "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.

  小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问:“那你知道我是谁吗?”

  "No," she uttered.

  小女孩说:“不知道。”

  "Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.

  小男孩大大的松了口气,说道“真是谢天谢地啊。”

  (二)

  Saying a Prayer for His Christmas Meal

  圣诞节晚宴上的餐前祷告

  Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

  有个小男孩叫Lee, 今年七岁,圣诞节晚餐开桌前,家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他,Lee开始做他得祷告,首先,他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈,哥哥姐姐诶,奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后,他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。

  He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"

  他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡,馅儿饼,圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后Lee停下来了 ,大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很长时间,然后抬起头看着他妈妈说:“妈妈,如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜,他会知道我在撒谎吗?”

  注:国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜,看《绝望主妇》里面Lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜,请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验,看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。

  1分钟英文小笑话学习

  (一)

  A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.

  律师的狗,没有拴而到处闲逛,它来到一家肉店,偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室,问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉,我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道:“完全可以”,“那你欠我 8.50美元,你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”,律师什么都没说,马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后,店主打开邮箱,发现一封来自律师的信,信上写 道:咨询费250美元。

  (二)

  Sleeping Pills

  Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

  Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

  "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

  安眠药

  鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

  星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:"我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。"

  "好啊!"老板吼道,"那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?"

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