英语笑话 位置:首页>学习英语>英语阅读>英语笑话>《超级简短英文笑话精选…》正文

超级简短英文笑话精选

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-12

  在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。 下面是学习啦小编带来的超级简短英文笑话,欢迎阅读!

  超级简短英文笑话精选

  (一)

  Where is the egg?

  Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

  Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

  Teacher:Then where is the "egg"?

  Student:In the cake,Sir.

  鸡蛋在哪里?

  老师:你能用"鸡蛋"一词造句吗?

  学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

  老师:"鸡蛋"在哪?

  学生:在蛋糕里,先生

  (二)

  There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, "How come this guy is $5,000? That's so expensive for this kindof parrot." The owner said, "Because I have trained him and he can talk." So the customer asked him, "How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?" The owner said, "Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That's why he's so expensive." Then the customer said, "How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?" The owner of the shopsaid, "I don't know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him 'The Boss.'"

  老板最大 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉,其中一只卖五千元,另一只卖一万元,还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板:「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说:「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问:「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「他除了会说话之外,还会表演一些有趣的动作,好比说跳舞等等,所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问:「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌,也没看过他跳舞,什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他:『老板!』」

  超级简短英文笑话阅读

  (一)

  1. Two Tickets Please

  A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "

  When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"

  Notes:

  (1) be (fall) in love with 爱上

  (3) disappointed adj.失望的

  (2) sell out 售完,卖完

  (4) sur-ticket n.附加票

  Exercises:

  根据短文回答问题:

  ①What did the young man do at one weekend?

  ② How many tickets did he want?

  ③ Did the ticket-seller have any tickets?

  ④ Was the young man happy?

  ⑤ What did he decide to do then?

  两张电影票

  一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。周末,他请她看电影。来到售票处,小伙子对售票员说:“请给两张票。”售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。失望的年轻人说:“那么,您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗?”

  练习参考答案

  ① He invited his girlfriend to the cinema.

  ② TWO.

  ③ No, the tickets had sold out

  ④ No, he wasn't.

  ⑤ He decided to buy two sur-tickets which could allow them to stand together.

  (二)

  An Adult Decision

  The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

  Notes:

  (1) constantly adv. 不断地

  (2) tattoo n. 文身

  (3) permission n. 允许

  (4) masculinity n. 阳性,男性

  (5) image n . 形象,肖像

  (6) Mickey Mouse 米老鼠

  Exercises:

  根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F):

  ① When the son pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, the mother thought her son was old enough to make an adult decision.

  ② A few days before his birthday, the son came home with a tattoo.

  ③ The mother wondered what symbol her son had chosen.

  ④ The image of Mickey Mouse on the son's shoulder was three inches long.

  ⑤ From the passage, we can see that the son really made an adult decision.

  成年人的抉择

  我儿子十八岁前的那一年,他常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这样做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了,并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。果然,十八岁生日的几天后,他文了身,回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴,但出于好奇,我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。

  练习参考答案:

  ① F ② F ③ T ④ F ⑤ F

  超级简短英文笑话学习

  (一)

  What Grade

  Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"

  "Eleventh!" Kristin replied.

  Notes:

  ① niece n.侄女 ④ full-service n.昼夜服务

  ② license n.驾驶执照 ⑤ pump n.加油机

  ③ pull up 停止

  Exercises:

  根据短文回答问题:

  (1) How old was Kristin?

  (2) What had she just gotten?

  (3) what did she offer to do one day?

  (4) What did the attendant mean by asking "What grade, miss?"

  (5) How did Kristin misunderstand the attendant?

  哪一级

  我的十七岁的侄女,科里斯蒂,刚刚拿到驾照。她主动提出去加油站给她妈妈的车加油。她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。服务员问她:“(加油加到)哪一级,小姐?”

  “十一(年)级!”科里斯蒂回答说。

  练习参考答案:

  ① Seventeen years old.

  ② She has just gotten her driving license.

  ③ She offered to take her mother's car to the gas station.

  ④ He wanted her to select the proper kind of gas for the car.

  ⑤ She thought that the attendant was asking which grade she was in at school.

  (二)

  Were on That Mountain Over There

  My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.

  "I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"

  Notes:

  (1) hike v.远足;徒步旅行

  (2) Rockies n.(美国)落基山脉

  (3) compass n.罗盘

  (4) go off course 走下了道

  (5) electronics n.电子学

  Exercises:

  根据短文选择正确答案:

  ① Why did the mother and son become lost in the southern Rockies?

  A. Because they were hiking.

  B. Because the Rockies were too high.

  C. Because they were climbing too high.

  D. Because they had gone off course.

  ② What's the use of a compass?

  A. to determine where people have gone off course.

  B. to show people the correct direction.

  C. to make people confused about direction.

  D. to make people work well

  ③ What was the son?

  A. a mechanic

  B. a tourist guide

  C. an electronics engineer

  D. a traveller

  ④ How many satellites did the son lock the instrument on?

  A. One

  B. Two

  C. Three

  D. Four

  ⑤ What do you think of the son's way to solve the problem?

  A. It was a clever way.

  B. It was the only way.

  C. It wouldn't solve their problem.

  D. The son took too much of himself.

  我们在那座山上

  落基山脉徒步旅行时,由于爬得太高,我和儿子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地图和罗盘来确定我们是在哪几走错了路。我的儿子是位电子学工程师,他却马上从包里拿出一个全球定位系统接收器。他很小心地把仪器锁定在地球上空的四个卫星上,认真地看了看仪器上的图。然后他自豪地宣布道:“我知道我们的确切位置了。我们就在那边的那个山上!”

  练习参考答案:

  ① D ② B ③ C ④ D ⑤C

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