十万个冷笑话英语精选

十万个冷笑话英语精选

　　在以往对冷笑话的理解中，冷笑话是一类失败了的笑话，很少有人能在第一时间真正理解这一类笑话。下面是学习啦小编带来的十万个冷笑话英语，欢迎阅读!

　　十万个冷笑话英语精选

　　The Beat Salesman in the World

　　Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."

　　" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."

　　He went into the building and spoke to the manager.

　　"I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. "

　　"You must prove you're the best," the manager said.

　　"I'll pass every test you give me." Harry told him.

　　"Good."

　　The manager took a box of candy out of his desk .

　　"Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week, you can have the job.

　　"That's easy," Harry said.

　　He took the box of candy and left the office.

　　Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .

　　He couldn't sell one.

　　The candy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.

　　At the end of the week he went back to the manager.

　　"I'm sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.

　　"Oh," said the manager. "Who?"

　　"The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said.

　　Notes:

　　(1) candy n. 糖果

　　(2) give away赠送

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文选择正确答案：

　　① The manager told Harry_____ .

　　A. he was the best salesman in the world

　　B. he wasn't a good salesman

　　C. he had to show how good he was

　　D. he could start work immediately

　　② Harry could have the job if_____ .

　　A. he sold a thousand boxes of candy

　　B. he sold a hundred boxes of candy

　　C. he gave away two hundred boxes of candy

　　D. he gave away a thousand boxes of candy

　　③ Harry could not sell the candy because_____ .

　　A. he was a very bad salesman

　　B. the candy was very bad

　　C. he did' t try to sell it

　　D. nobody liked candy

　　④ Who was the best salesman in the world?

　　A. Harry

　　B. the manager

　　C. nobody

　　D. the man who sold the candy to the manager

　　⑤ So we can infer from the story that_____ .

　　A. Harry got the job

　　B. Harry wasn't accepted by the manager

　　C. Harry was very stupid

　　D. the manager was very clever

　　世界上最好的售货员

　　哈里在橱窗上看到一则广告。上面写着：“招聘世界上最好的售货员，报酬优厚。”

　　“我是一名了不起的售货员，”哈里自言自语，“任何东西我都能卖出去，我要进去应聘这份工作。”

　　他走进大楼去和经理说这件事。

　　“我是世界上最好的售货员，”他说，“把这件工作给我吧。”

　　“你必须证明你是最好的，”经理说。

　　“我会通过你给我的每一次考验的。”哈里告诉他。

　　“好。”

　　经理从桌子里取出一箱糖果。

　　“我上星期买了一千箱这种糖果。如果你能在周末之前把这些全卖出去，你就能得到这份工作。”

　　“这很简单。”哈里说。

　　他拿着这箱糖果离开了办公室。

　　每天从早到晚，他从这家店走到那家店，竭力想卖出一千箱糖果。

　　结果他一箱也没卖出去。

　　糖果质量太差，以至于送人都没人要。

　　周末他回去见经理。

　　“很抱歉，先生，”他说，“我搞错了。我不是世界上最好的售货员，但我知道谁是最好的。”

　　“哦，”经理问，“是谁?”

　　“是把这一千箱糖果卖给你的人，”哈里说。

　　练习参考答案：

　　①C②A③B④D⑤B

　　十万个冷笑话英语阅读

　　A Boy with a Big Head

　　A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-use your hat

　　Notes:

　　(1) make fun of取笑;嘲弄

　　(2) shopping bag购物袋

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F)：

　　① The boy was complaining to his mother.

　　② Children made fun of him because he had a beautiful head.

　　③ The mother was angry when she heard what her son had told her.

　　④ The mother couldn't find their shopping bag.

　　⑤ The boy did have a big head .

　　大头娃娃

　　一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道：“他们都取笑我，说我脑袋大。” “别听他们的，”他母亲安慰道，“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买十斤土豆来。”

　　“购物袋在哪儿?”

　　“没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

　　练习参考答案：

　　①T②F③F④T⑤T

　　十万个冷笑话英语学习

　　The Choice of Word

　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.

　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.

　　Notes:

　　(1) shake v.摇晃

　　(2) wake up唤醒;吵醒

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文填空：

　　① John was back home _____work.

　　② He found his wife was _____their daughter who was only half a ear old.

　　③ She said "Da-Dy" _____ the baby many times.

　　④ During on night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken _____ by the cry "Dady".

　　⑤ Then she turned _____sleep.

　　选词

　　一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：“爸-爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了“爸爸”这个词首先教孩子。

　　几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，亲爱的。”妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。

　　练习参考答案：

　　① after ② shaking ③ to ④ up ⑤ to