学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
我正是新郎 I'm the groom
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
两张电影票 Two Tickets
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema.When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young mansaid, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
(1) be (fall) in love with 爱上 (2) sell out 售完，卖完
(3) disappointed adj.失望的 (4) sur-ticket n.附加票
My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of hisroom, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account.While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessibleplace to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor. "
富有挑战性的搜寻 A Challenging Hunt
A woman answered her front door and found two boys holding a list. "Lady," one of themexplained, "we are on a treasure hunt, and we need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop boneand a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar. "
"Wow," the woman replied, "who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter'sboyfriend. "
“哦，”那位妇女回答道：“谁让你们作这样富有挑战性的搜寻的?” 男孩们回答道 “是我们保姆的男朋友。”
谁的狗最聪明 Whose Dog Was the Smartest
Whose Dog Was the Smartest
Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.
The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and pided the contents into four equal piles.
The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.
The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.