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英语笑话好笑最简单的

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-14

  政治笑话是一种口头表演艺术形式,其创作和传播的主体是普通民众,客体是政治体系。下面小编整理了英语笑话最好笑最简单的,希望大家喜欢!

  英语笑话最好笑最简单的摘抄

  A Plumber

  My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber athome. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber be sent. For several days her requestwas ignored.

  In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come towork in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a.m.

  管道修理工

  我女儿朱迪在一家管道公司工作。一日,她发现自己家里需要一个管道修理工。于是,去上班时,她要求派一个管修工到她家里。但一连几天,她的要求都没有得到回应。

  出于无奈,一天下午下班时,她给老板留下这样一张字条:“明早管修工一到我家,我即刻来上班。”第二天早晨还不到七点钟就来了一位管修工。

  英语笑话最好笑最简单的鉴赏

  拜倒在你的脚下

  It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As Ineared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on thesmooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winkedat me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

  上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”

  英语笑话最好笑最简单的赏析

  回答的技巧

  Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"

  "Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.

  "Works every time," the driver said with a wink.

  在瓦湖岛上度假时,我们坐在旅游车里等候掉队的人。一位男子,明显不是和我们一起的,朝旅游车走来并要上车。司机会怎么处理这种情况呢?我们都拭目以待。司机拉长了脸,向车门靠过去,问道:“先生,是去裸体营地吗?”

  “哦,不,”刚想乘车的男子回答说,迅速转身而逃。

  “每次都管用,”司机眨巴了一下眼睛说

  英语笑话最好笑最简单的欣赏

  A Bad Doctor

  A man walked into a doctor's examining room.

  "Put out your tongue," the doctor said.

  The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.

  "0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong withyou . You need more exercise."

  "But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"

  " Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know whatyou need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in officesall day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least20 minutes a day. "

  "Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"

  "I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. Ifyou don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "

  "But I walk every clay," the patient said.

  "Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train stationfrom your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet fromyour office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walkin the park for twenty minutes every day. "

  Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor whothought he knew everything.

  "I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "

  For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, willyou?"

  庸医

  一人走进一家诊所。

  “伸出舌头,”医生说。

  那人伸出舌头,医生很快地看了一下。

  “好了,把舌头缩回去吧。”医生说,“你的病因很明显。你需要更多的运动。”

  “但是,医生,”那人说,“我不认为----”

  “不要告诉我你认为怎么样,”医生说,“我是医生,不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计的你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分钟。”

  “医生,你不知道,”病人说,“我----”

  “我不想听任何理由。”医生说,“你应该抽出时间来运动。如果你不锻炼,那么当你老的时候,你就会变得很胖,并且有健康问题。”

  “但我每天都走路的,”病人说。

  “喔,是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步。你走几英尺的路,从家到火车站,又走几英尺从车站到办公室,然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆去吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园里散步20分钟。”

  “请听我说,医生!”病人叫起来,对那位自以为什么都知道的医生很生气。

  “我是一名邮递员,”病人接着说,“我每天得走7小时的路。”

  医生闷在那里半天无语。然后他轻声地说:“再把你的舌头伸出来,行吗?”

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