学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber athome. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber be sent. For several days her requestwas ignored.
In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come towork in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a.m.
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As Ineared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on thesmooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winkedat me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"
"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.
"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.
A Bad Doctor
A man walked into a doctor's examining room.
"Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
"0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong withyou . You need more exercise."
"But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"
" Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know whatyou need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in officesall day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least20 minutes a day. "
"Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"
"I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. Ifyou don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "
"But I walk every clay," the patient said.
"Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train stationfrom your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet fromyour office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walkin the park for twenty minutes every day. "
Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor whothought he knew everything.
"I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "
For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, willyou?"