学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
My roommate was interested in a young man in her English-literature class, but she was tooshy to let him know. One day she overheard him say he was on his way to the library for acertain book. She rushed to the library, found the book and stuck in it a letter from hermother.
"Why would he want to read a letter from your mother?" I asked.
"He wouldn't, but if he's any kind of gentleman, he'll return it to me " Her dorm and roomnumbers were on the envelope, of course.
The next day he appeared with the letter and asked my roommate out on a date. "Couldn'tfail," she later told me. "The book was Great Expectations.
Looking for a companion
A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: ' I want a companion who issmall and cute, loves water sports and enjoys group activities. "
Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin. "
My teen-age daughter was preparing to return home after having visited her grandparents for a few weeks one summer. Her grandfather gave her 12 post cards .
"Here, write us a few lines every month," he said.
Months passed and the cards remained unused-that is until the day this letter arrived:
Life is a series of stages.
As a child, I looked forward to becoming a teenager-that happened.
As a teen-ager ,I looked forward to becoming a young man-that happened.
As a young man, I looked forward to meeting a young woman, in love and becoming a married man-that happened.
As a married man, I looked forward to becoming a father-that happened.
As a father, I looked forward to becoming a grandfather to beautiful ,intelligent grandchildren-that happened.
Then I looked forward to the day they would learn to write-that hasn't happened yet.
A Stubborn Horse
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery.For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, hepronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly beganreading it aloud:
"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed."
"Stubborn horse," explained the writer.