学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with hislittle son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"
One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the sonon the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go justnow?"
Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that gotaway". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediatelyinvited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I useboth," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."
"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.
"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked hisbrain. Then he had an idea.
The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding thebiggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out indismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.
"Dear, " he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"
One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs upand pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him outthe back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the sametreatment
Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "Iwonder if they're serving any food on this cruise."
"I don' t know, the second guy replied. "They didn't last year."
A Japanese company and an American company had a boat race, the Japanese won by a mile.The Americans hired analysts to figure out what went wrong. They reported that the Japanesehad one person managing and seven rowing, while the Americans had seven managing and onlyone rowing. The American company immediately restructured its team. Now they had onesenior manager, six management consultants and one rower.
In the rematch the Japanese won by two miles. So the American company fired the rower.