学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
日复一日 Day After Day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He wouldcall on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose thesame student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.
After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from hisfriends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "You translate and explain."
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a jobinterview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door.Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk thatmy envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said itwould cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
y cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bittoo quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both ofmy children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.
I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smokealarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
"It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready."
在空中 In The Air
att and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. Oneday a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. Atlast he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but wewon't buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt'swife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn'twant to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilotwasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn'tscream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flyingupside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can haveher ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."