学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-18
如此长的狗 Such a Long Dog
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
浪费还是节约Waste or Save
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning.Don't you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?
A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take ithome and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, a lady-one of the woman's friends came over and asked what shewas doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh you have to roll up the windows first!"
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity* hadlong been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret oftheir long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon andtook a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when myhusband's mule stumbled."
"My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbledagain. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when themule stumbled a third time."
"My husband promptly removed a revolver* from his pocket and shot him."
"I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said'That's once.'"
"May I borrow your record player tonight ?" a man asked his neighbour .
"Sure . Do you want to listen to some music?"
"No ." he answered ." Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet."
大脑袋 Big Head
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop cryingand go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one, use your hat."