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英语幽默的小笑话精选

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-18

  由于戏说《论语》的笑话在戏曲、小说中的大量存在,使其又具有了一定的文学价值。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语幽默的小笑话,欢迎阅读!

  英语幽默的小笑话精选

  (一)

  蜗牛买跑车snail and car

  There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

  曾经有只蜗牛,它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。逛了一圈之后,它决定买Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun经销店,去买Datson 240-Z,但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆,改称240-S。  经销商问:“为什么是S呢?”  蜗牛回答说:“‘s’代表蜗牛。我想让每一个看见我呼啸而过的人知道是谁在开车。”  经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会,所以他同意收取些许费用,把车重新涂漆。  蜗牛开着它的新车,把自己的余生都用在了快乐地高速行使在告诉公路上。而不论何时任何人看见它飞驰而过的时候,都会说:“哦!看那S-car 。”

  (二)

  死后重生Life After Death

  Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

  “你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。

  "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

  “是的,先生。”这个新员工回答说。

  "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterdayto go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

  “哦,那么,这样说来一切就很正常了,”老板继续说,“在你今早离开,去参加你奶奶的葬礼,她来看你了。”

  英语幽默的小笑话阅读

  (一)

  两个超级大笨贼

  Very stupid robbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens.Jump!"

  两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说:“我听到警报响了,快跳吧!”

  The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is notime to be superstitious!"

  第二个说:“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”第一个尖叫着回敬他:“都什么时候了,还这么迷信!”

  (二)

  买房子的优缺点

  Good Points and Bad Points

  优缺点

  "This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To showyou I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant oneblock south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

  “这幢房子,”房地产推销商说,“既有优点也有缺点。为了说明我是诚实的,我将告诉你们它的缺点:往南面一个街区是一家化工厂,往北面一个街区是一家屠宰场。”

  "What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

  “那么它的长处呢?”预备购买房子的人问道。

  "The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind isblowing."

  “它的好处,”代理商说道,“就是,你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的。”

  关于英语幽默的小笑话

  (一)

  请朋友吃饭 Friend for Dinner

  Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

  “亲爱的,”丈夫对妻子说:“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

  What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

  “什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

  I know all that.

  “这些我全都知道。”

  Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

  “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”

  Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

  “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

  (二)

  向肖伯纳求婚 Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw

  Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw. Shesaid she did not mind Bernard Shaw’s old age and ugliness because he was a genius. And ifthey could combine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man,that would begreatly harmonious. “With your wisdom and my appearance,our children must be perfect.”

  英国有位美貌风流的女演员,曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说,因为他是个天才,她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合,那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌,那一定是十全十美了。”

  Bernard Shaw answered,in a letter,that her imagination was splendid,“But,what if thechildren take my appearance and your wisdom?”

  肖伯纳给她回了一封信说,她的想象很是美妙,“可是,假如生下的孩子外貌象我,而智慧又象你,那又该怎么办呢?”

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