学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-18
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has thisbeen going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg
欺骗的代价 The Revenge
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can't marryanyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!"
最后的坦诚 Dying Man
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"
传教士买鹦鹉 Buy a Parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked thepreacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you seethose strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and whenyou pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but whathappens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in theirpockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."
As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that'Time is money'?"
"Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.
"Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at themeter.
"Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.