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2016经典英语幽默笑话

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-18

  从结构上看 ,一则话语只要具有能产生幽默效果的关键语句即成笑话。下面是学习啦小编带来的2016经典英语幽默笑话,欢迎阅读!

  2016经典英语幽默笑话大全

  (一)

  我想我是一只鸡

  Psychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has thisbeen going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg

  精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?病人:我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

  (二)

  欺骗的代价 The Revenge

  Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can't marryanyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!"

  老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。”妻子:“为什么?”约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

  2016经典英语幽默笑话欣赏

  (一)

  最后的坦诚 Dying Man

  As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"

  一个男人在临死之前向他的妻子倾诉说:“我死之前必须告诉你一些事情的真相。在我们的整个婚姻中,我一直都在欺骗你。在那些我告诉你我会工作到很晚的夜里,我是和其他女人在一起。而且还不止一个女人。我曾经和很多女人睡过觉。他的妻子平静地看着他,说道:“你为什么没有想到是我给你下的毒药呢?”

  (二)

  传教士买鹦鹉 Buy a Parrot

  A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked thepreacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you seethose strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and whenyou pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but whathappens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

  一个传教士在买鹦鹉。“你确信它不会尖叫,大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。“哦,绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根,它会背诵天主经,当你拉动左面的那根,它会背诵赞美诗”“太棒了!”传教士说,“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子,会发生什么呢?”“我会从树干上掉下去的,你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

  经典的2016英语幽默笑话

  (一)

  职场笑话大家都认为我是头

  Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.

  皮特告诉他的朋友他刚刚丢掉了工作。

  "Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.

  “为什么领班会开除你?”朋友诧异地问。

  "Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in theirpockets watching everybody else work."

  “哦,”皮特说,“你知道领班是什么样的人。他们总是把手插在口袋了,站在旁边看其他人工作。”

  "We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"

  “我们知道是这样。”朋友回答说。“但是为什么他会让你走?”

  "Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."

  “嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都认为我是领班。”

  (二)

  时间就是金钱Time-Money

  As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that'Time is money'?"

  当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时,我问司机:“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗?”

  "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.

  “哦,这是一个普遍说法。在这个问题上,谁会在意那么多呢?”司机回答说。

  "Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at themeter.

  “看,在车已经停止的情况下,里程表上的数字还在跑。”我指着里程表说。

  "Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.

  “哦,是的。你说的挺有道理的。在这种情况下,时间对我们俩来说都是金钱。”司机补充说。

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