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小学英语简短笑话大全

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-18

  讽刺笑话揭露世间的假、恶、丑 ,以笑醒人 ;幽默故事给人生带来欢笑 ,见出巴渠人的机智聪颖和乐观风趣。下面是学习啦小编带来的小学英语简短笑话,欢迎阅读!

  小学英语简短笑话大全

  (一)

  宿舍季度通行证

  A new dorm rule was announced.

  新宿舍规范出台了。

  “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.

  “女生宿舍将全面谢绝男生的光顾,男生宿舍也同样不得进入女生。”

  "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

  "不论是谁,一旦违规,初犯将被罚款20美元。”

  "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60."

  "第二次违规者要被罚款60美元。"

  "Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

  第三次被抓住需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问没有?”

  "At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er... How much for a season pass?"

  "这时人群中一个男同学问讯道,“那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱?”

  (二)

  一个大胆的猜想

  Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principleof water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at thepublic bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran downthe street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”

  小学英语简短笑话欣赏

  (一)

  狗也知道这个谚语吗?Does dog know the proverb?

  little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。"It's allright," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don'tbite?"“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你不知道这条谚语吗:“吠狗不咬人。””"Ah, yes," answeredthe little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”

  (二)

  失踪 Disappearing Act

  When a woman reported her husband missing, the officer in charge looked at the photographshe handed him, then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes," she replied readily. "Tell him my mother isn't visiting after all."

  一个女人向警察报案,说丈夫失踪了。警察看过丈夫的照片,问女人如果他们能找到她丈夫,她有没有什么要和丈夫说的。女人很乐意地说:“是的,告诉他我妈妈不来了。”

  经典的小学英语简短笑话

  (一)

  Running a red light

  闯红灯

  Two guys were riding down the street in a car. They come to a red light. The driver runs the redlight. The passenger cries out "Hey, why did you do that?" The driver says, "Don't worry aboutit, my brother does it all the time."

  两个男人开车前行,路遇一红灯,司机呼啸而过。乘客大叫:“嘿!你干吗这样做?”司机说:“别担心,我兄弟经常这么干。”

  They came to another red light, and the same thing happens. The passenger is visibly upsetand threatens to get out of the car the next chance he gets. At the next light, which is green,the driver slams on his brakes and comes to a screeching halt(停).

  又遇一红灯,司机依旧呼啸而过。乘客显然愤怒了,威胁说如果下次再闯红灯他就下车。路遇一绿灯,司机猛踩刹车,车子嘎然而止。

  The passenger is confused and asks, "What the heck is wrong with you? You ran two redlights but you stop at the green one."

  乘客迷惑了,问道:“你有病吧?刚才闯了两个红灯,现在绿灯了你倒停了。”

  The driver responds: "My brother might be coming from the other way!"

  司机回答:“我兄弟可能会从那边过来。”

  (二)

  The amazing golf ball

  神奇的高尔夫球

  A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up tohim, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

  一个高尔夫球手正要发球,跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员,喊到:“ 等一下。在您发球前,我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”

  The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

  高尔夫球手颇感被打搅,说道:“什么东西啊?”

  "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

  “是一个很特别的高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”

  "you can never lose it",scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?

  “永远不会丢的球”,高尔夫球手嘲讽地说,“如果球被打到水里呢?”

  "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spinstowards it."

  “没问题。它能漂起来,还能探测到哪里是岸,然后自己就能转到岸边。”

  "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

  “那么如果掉到树丛里呢?”

  "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyesclosed."

  “简单。它能发出嘟嘟声,这样你就能循声而至了。”

  "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

  “那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”

  "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golfball!"

  “球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话,你永远不会找不到这个球。”

  The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you getit?"

  高尔夫球手当即买下这个球,随口问了一句:“你从哪搞到它的?”

  "I found it."

  “是我捡到的啦!”

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