英语笑话 位置:首页>学习英语>英语阅读>英语笑话>《经典英文小学生幽默笑…》正文

经典英文小学生幽默笑话

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-18

  中国万荣笑话博览园由"欢乐广场、笑话王国、笑话产业园"三大板块组成。下面是学习啦小编带来的小学生英文幽默笑话,欢迎阅读!

  小学生英文幽默笑话大全

  (一)

  到底谁逆行?

  As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard hiswife'svoiceurgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going thewrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

  一个老人驾车在高速路上疾驰,这时他的车载电话响了。接通后,电话中传出他老婆焦急的声音,“赫尔曼,刚刚新闻说280号公路上有辆车逆行,你要小心啊!”

  "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

  “该死的,”赫尔曼说,“谁说只有一辆啊!简直有上百辆!”

  (二)

  吵架可以减肥

  Two ladies were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

  两个女人逛商场的时候讨论起她们的家庭生活,一个说道:

  "Seems like all Alfred and I do is fight. I've been so upset that I've lost 20 pounds."

  ”好像在我和阿尔弗雷德之间就只有争吵了,搞得我心烦意乱,为此我已经瘦了20磅了。“

  "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

  ”那你为什么不干脆离开他啊?“她朋友问道。

  "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

  ”嗯!还不可以。“第一个女人回答,”我想先再瘦15磅再说。

  小学生英文幽默笑话欣赏

  (一)

  死后的探望

  An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. Shetold her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, shewanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

  布鲁克林的一位年迈的妇女决定准备自己的遗嘱,提出最后的要求。她告诉自己的犹太教士说她有两个临终前的要求。第一,她要火化;第二,她要把骨灰撒到布鲁明黛。

  "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"

  “布鲁明黛!”教士叫道,“为什么在布鲁明黛?”

  "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

  “那样的话我女儿肯定一周会探望我两次。”

  (二)

  这就叫"重听"

  Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

  有三个退休的老人,都患有重听。三月里风和日丽的一天,他们在一起散步。

  One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

  其中一个人对另一个人说:“这天儿风有点儿大,是吧?”

  "No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

  “不是,”第二个人回答道,“今天是星期四。”

  And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

  第三个人插话进来说:“我也是,去买瓶可乐吧。”

  经典的小学生英文幽默笑话

  (一)

  山谷到处是车祸现场

  A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the autoaccessories in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car onthe road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough just below it, where youcan find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."

  一个卡车司机向一山民打听:“请问,这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?”  山民说:“这条路上经常有人开英雄车,前面不远处是个急转弯,急转弯的下面就是深谷,那深谷里什么样的汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”

  (二)

  冷静,冷静!

  In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don'tyell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

  一个人在超市里推着购物车,一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着:”别激动,阿尔伯特,别嚷出来,阿尔伯特,别叫,阿尔伯特,冷静,阿尔伯特。"

  A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to sootheyour son, Albert."

  站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道:“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”

  The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

  男人看着那位女士说:“太太,我是阿尔伯特。

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