学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-18
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselveswholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed forhome.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest,and made an appointmentwith the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks,they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the othersbehind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the sameairplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."So the new pilotthought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year,I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animalsin, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area.The three menclimbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we arenow?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left ofthe place we crashed last year."
Senior Class 做事不要太较真
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would becelebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her akiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in fewdays and asked for a kiss in return. When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Canyou imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!"
Excellent Skills 做事情的潜规则
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attentionof any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar billand waved it above the crowd. In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed theporter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
The mean man's party 吝啬鬼的聚会
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find hisapartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. Whenthe door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"