学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-18
After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead: Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.Immediately someone responded to the ad, That's an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What's wrong with your horse?Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously(错误地) typed ad.
Young hopeful:"Father, what is a traitor in politics?"Father (a veteran politician):"A traitor is aman who leaves our party and goes over to the other one."Young hopeful:"Well then, what is aman who leaves his party and comes over to yours?"Father:"A convert, my son."
The Fourth Element 构成世界的肥皂
Teacher: What are the four element of nature? Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ... Teacher:And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with? Student: Soap!
The Doctor Knows Better "神医"生知万事
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standingup by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm stillalive." "Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。” 医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。” 听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。” 妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
Be Careful What You Wish For 老来疯许愿, 不卖后悔药
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been sucha loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travelaround the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, itwas the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have awoman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
A teacher said to her class： “Who was the first man?” “George Washington，”a little boyshouted promptly. “How do you make out that George Washington was the firstman?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently. “Because，”said the little boy，“he was first inwar，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”But at this point a larger boyheld up his hand. “Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man?” “Idon't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't GeorgeWashington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married awidow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him.”
有个老师问班上的学生： “谁是第一个男人?” “乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。 “你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢?”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。 小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。” 这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。 “那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢?” “我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”