超精辟英语冷笑话阅读
超精辟英语冷笑话阅读
笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是学习啦小编带来的超精辟英语冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
超精辟英语冷笑话精选
9岁熊孩子逃票登机 前科重重轰动美国
A 9-year-old Minneapolis boy was able to get through security and onto a plane at theMinneapolis-St. Paul International Airport without a ticket, an airport spokesman said Sunday.
机场发言人在上周日10月6号称，一名未持机票的9岁男孩在明尼阿波利斯市的保罗国际机场逃过安检登上了飞机。
Security officials screened the boy at airport shortly after 10:30 a.m. Thursday, MetropolitanAirports Commission spokesman Patrick Hogan said. The boy then boarded Delta Flight 1651,which left for Las Vegas at 11:15 a.m.
大都会机场委员会发言人帕特里克·霍根称，安检官员在周四上午10点半左右就通过监控录像发现了男孩，接着这名男孩登上了11点15分开往拉斯维加斯的三角洲1651航班。
The flight was not full, Hogan said, and the flight crew became suspicious mid-flight becausethe boy was not on their list of unattended minors. The crew contacted Las Vegas police, whomet them upon landing and transferred the boy to child protection services, Hogan said.
霍根说，当时机上还有空位，机组人员很快就对这个不在无人看管未成年人的名单上的男孩产生了怀疑。机组人员联系了拉斯维加斯警方，后者在飞机着陆后就将男孩送到局里看管起来了。
Minneapolis Police went to his residence. Parents told officers they “hadn’t seen much of himtoday.”
明尼阿波利斯市警方去男孩家调查。父母对警方称他们“今天没怎么看到孩子。”
“The child was screened along with all other passengers to ensure that he was not a threat tothe aircraft,” said the TSA spokesperson.
一名运输安全管理局的发言人称，“我们给这个孩子以及其他乘客都进行了身份扫描，以确保他不会对飞机构成威胁。”
They added that video of the boy at the checkpoint has been reviewed, and they are“investigating whether we should reconfigure barriers to prevent another incident like thisone.”
该局发言人同时称，他们已经反复查看过了男孩通过验票口时候的机场录像，并且该局“正在研究是否应该应该重新设置检票口的隔栏，以防止出现类似事故。”
Video also shows the boy at the airport Wednesday, Hogan said. He grabbed a bag from thecarousel and ordered lunch at a restaurant outside of the security checkpoints, Hogan said. Heate and then told the server he had to use the bathroom, left the bag and never returned topay.
霍根称，机场摄像头还拍摄到了男孩于周四现身机场的录像，当时他从行李旋转带上取走了一个拎包，还在检票口外面的餐厅里点了一份午餐。
The owner of the bag was identified, and the bag was returned to him, Hogan said. Nothingwas stolen.
霍根称，被孩子拿走的拎包已经找到了失主并原物奉还，失主并没有丢东西。
The boy became "violent" and was hospitalized in Las Vegas, where hospital staff reported hewas "uncontrollable" at first but eventually calmed down, it said.
男孩被发现后反应相当“剧烈”，人们将他送到了拉斯维加斯的医院。医护人员反应男孩入院时“难以控制”，但后来最终冷静下来了。
A hearing in Las Vegas about the boy's case was scheduled for Tuesday.
拉斯维加斯在本周二举行了关于男孩的听证会。
The boy has been suspended several times at school, most recently since Sept. 21 for fighting,the father said. “He’s not an honor student; he has his ups, he has his downs,” he said, addinghe met with the principal and “we put in a plan,” but the son’s misbehavior continued.
据男孩的父亲说，这个9岁的孩子曾经多次被学校停学，最近的一次是在9月21日因为打架被学习停学。“他并不是一个三好学生;他有自己的优点，也有自己的缺点。”
the boy is known to county staff as a “challenging” child. Since December 2012, the countyhas four times assessed the boy’s family for protective services.
社区官员称这个孩子一直是一个“具有挑战性”的孩子。自2012年12月以来，社区已经有四次就儿童保护性问题走访过这家人。
The boy also has a history of riding light-rail trains to a Bloomington water park, where he“waits until a large family is entering and joins them”. Of county interactions with the child, itsaid, “Typically, staff can tell if a child is lying, but with this child, they are unsure what is goingon.”
这个男孩还曾经乘坐轻轨列车到布卢明顿的水上公园去玩过，他在车站“等着一大家子人检票如站，然后和他们站在一起。”据社区官员说，他们在与男孩交流的时候，“官员们能明显的感觉到这孩子在说谎，但是他毕竟还是个孩子，他们无从得知他到底干了些什么。”
Now, after the boy’s most dramatic wayward act, his father desperately pleaded for help forthe son he hasn’t been able to speak to since last week.
在男孩戏剧性的出格事件之后，他的父亲已经一周未能和男孩通话了。现在他正迫切的呼吁社会帮助。
“He’s a 9-year-old child,” he said. “I don’t want to see my son hurt.”The father said the planeepisode has been “a heartache” for the family. “We didn’t know he’d got on a plane until myfiancée called the police … it came back that he was in Las Vegas,” he said.
男孩的父亲说，“他只是个九岁的孩子。我不想看到自己的孩子受伤。” 据他称，机场时间已经成了全家人的“心头大患”。“我们根本不知道他去了机场。后来我的未婚妻报了警，才知道他在拉斯维加斯。”
超精辟英语冷笑话阅读
蠢医生,我是孩子的小姨!I am the baby's aunt!
Holding a baby in her arms, a woman visited a gynecologist. "Is the baby breast fed or is he on bottle?" asked the doctor.
一位妇人抱着BABY到一间妇产科。医生问妇人说：BABY是吃母乳还是牛奶啊?
"Breast fed, of course!" replied the woman.
妇人：吃母乳!
"Take off your clothes, please." the doctor ordered.
医生：那请你把衣服脱下来。
"What? ...But why?"
妇人：啊?为什么?
"Don't worry. you're in a gynecology clinic and I'll just do a routine medical check for you."
医生：请你不用紧张，这里是妇产科，绝不会对你有任何侵犯的。
The woman reluctantly took off her clothes.
妇人半信半疑的脱去了上衣。
The doctor carefully examined the woman's breasts, groping his fingers around and pressing repeatedly. When finished, the doctor said to the woman:"No wonder the baby is malnourished. You have no milk at all!"
医生用他的手在妇人的胸部上摸摸，下摸摸，左搓搓，右揉揉。对这妇人说：难怪BABY会营养不良，你根本就没有母乳嘛!
The woman replied angrily:"Nonsense! Of course not. I am the baby's aunt!"
妇人：废话!我当然没有母乳，我是BABY的小姨!
超精辟英语冷笑话学习
家有仙妻的可怜丈夫 The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to hisfriend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me forhalf an hour why my answer is wrong.
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”