学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-20
A woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and removed its top. Whoosh! A big puff of smoke appeared.
"You have released me from my prison,”the genie told her. "To show my thanks, I’11 grant you three wishes. But take care, for with each wish，your mate, will receive double of whatever you request.”
"Why?" The woman asked. "He left me for another woman.”
"That is how it is written，”replied the genie.
The woman shrugged and then asked for a million dollars. There was a flash of light, and a million appeared at her feet. At the same instant, in a distant place，her husband was down to see twice that amount at his feet.
"And your second wish?"
"Genie, I want the world's most expensive diamond necklace.” Another flash of light, and the woman was holding the precious treasure. And in that remote place, her husband was wondering what had made so many precious stones come to him from nowhere at all.
"Genie，is it really true that my husband has two million dollars and more jewels than I do, and that he gets double of whatever I wish for?
The genie said it was indeed true.
Okay，genie，I’ m ready for my Last wish,” the woman said. "Scare me half to death.”
A grocer, a banker and a politician got lost in the forest. Eventually they came to a farmer's house and asked if he could put them up overnight.
“Sure,”the farmer said, “but I've got room for only two of you in the house. The other will have to sleep in the barn with the animals, and the smell is very bad out there.”
"I'll sleep in the barn,” the banker volunteered.
Half an hour later a knock was heard on the farmer's houses door, and there stood the banker, gasping," I can't take the smell.”
"All right,” said the grocer. "I' 11 sleep in the barn. "And off he went.
In a while there was another knock on the door. "I've put up with some rank odors from spoiled food,” the grocer complained," but that barn tops them all.”
"You two sissies,” said the politician" I'11 sleep in the barn.”
Thirty minutes later came another knock. When they opened the door There stood all the animals from the barn.
An old friend from abroad, whom I was expecting to stay with me, telephoned from the airport to tell me that he had arrived. I was still at the office at the time, but I had made arrangements for his arrival. After explaining where my new flat was, I told him that I had left the key under the room一mat. As I was likely to be home rather late, I advised him to go into the kitchen and help himself to food and drink.
Two hours later my friend telephoned me from the flat. At the moment, he was listening to some of my records after having just had a truly wonderful meal. He had found a pan on the gas stove and fried two eggs and had helped himself to some cold chicken from the refrigerator. Now, he said, he was drinking a glass of orange juice and he hoped I would join him. When I asked him if he had reached the flat without difficulty, he answered that be had not been able to find the key under the room-mat , but fortunately the living-room window just by the apple tree had been left open and he had climbed in. I listened to all this in astonishment. There is no apple tree in front of my living-room, but there is one in front of my neighbor’s!