学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-28 16:59:00
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She was talking to the damn doctor!"
The Effectiveness of Advertisement
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view.
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."