学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-28
after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
a very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. he had never seen them before,so he began:my name is stone, and i'm even harder than stone,so do what i tell you or there'll be trouble. don't try any tricks with me, and then we'll get on well together
then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don't forget to call me 'sir'.
applying for my first job, i realized i had to be creative in listing my few qualifications(资格证书，职位要求) . asked about additional schooling and training, i answered truthfully that i had spent three years in computer programming classes. i got the job.
i had neglected to mention that i took the same course for three years before i passed.
my father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. at a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.
"i don't want another s.o.b. toasting his shins(小腿骨) around my fireplace," he explained.
with a sly grin, mother cracked, "what makes you think i'd marry another s.o.b?"
three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue.
the retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, gigantic sale! and super bargains!
the store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, prices slashed! and fantastic discounts!
the owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, entrance.