学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
Chief at Wedding警长在婚礼上
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer," the man began, "I can explain" "Just be quiet," snapped the officer.
"I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say" "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Alice and Monica were having a rare heart to heart talk.
“What’d you consider your worst vice?” Alice asked.
“I don’t like to admit it.” Monica said. “But my worst vice was my vanity. Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and just admire my face.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Said Alice.“That’s not vanity, that’s imagination.”
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.
As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
As soon as you wake up, you're fired一睡醒你就被炒鱿鱼了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep.
Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest.
"As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."