学习啦【英语笑话】 韦彦时间：2016-09-29 16:54:56我要投稿
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut.
"Eight dollars," I answered.
"And for a shave?" "Five dollars."
"All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
How could anyone stoop so low?哪有人弯腰弯那么低的呀?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height.
Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily,
"Someone just picked my pocket!"
Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
I'm Sure It Is Fresh 我保证它很新鲜
A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter, and I decided to try it.
As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. "I'm sure it is," answered the waitress. "We've only been open two weeks."
An Absent-minded Professor 健忘教授
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor.
He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. 他经常到别的教区给生病的牧师替班。一个周六，他又坐火车出发了，但到验票时，他却怎么都找不着放在衣服口袋里面的火车票。
"Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."
lifetime warranty 终身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted.
So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."