学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
How Long, Doctor? 要多久,医生?
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."
Have you ceased beating your wife你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
I am acting like a lady我要表现得象位女士
One day when womens dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store， a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.
But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then， with head lowered and arms flailing， he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Cant you act like a gentleman?" "Listen，" he said， "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.
From now on， I am acting like a lady."
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter.
"In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.
However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.
"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
They Are directly from America它们是从美国带来的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.
At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.
It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money.
They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."