学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving. There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows.
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath.
“You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently.
I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries.
I decided to give them a try.
I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were dripping with fat.
He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes.... The fat is free!"
Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a priest.When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".
The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop.Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".
The third woman says, "My son is a cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".
As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.
So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.
He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells wonderful.Whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'