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爆笑的英语笑话要长的

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-29

  冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。下面是学习啦小编带来的爆笑的长的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!

  爆笑的长的英语笑话篇一

  A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.

  有个人去牙买加度假,

  His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

  他的妻子正好出差,所以打算在他到之后的第二天去找他。

  When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.

  他到了宾馆,想要给妻子发封邮件,

  Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

  但是记着邮箱的纸找不到了,于是他凭着记忆把信发到了一个邮箱。

  Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

  很不幸,他漏掉了一个字母,因此他的信发到了一个老传教士的妻子的邮箱里,而传教士恰好在前一天去世了。

  When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

  悲痛的老妇人察看邮箱,看着显示器屏幕她尖叫一声,随后就倒在地上死去了。

  At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

  听到她的声音,家人赶忙跑进她的房间,只见这样一句话显示在屏幕上:“亲爱的,快来吧。为了你明天的到来,一切都准备好了。爱你的丈夫。

  Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

  顺便说一句,这里可真够热的。”

  爆笑的长的英语笑话篇二

  One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.

  一个漆黑的夜晚,两个小伙子参加完聚会,决定抄近路穿过一片坟地走回家。

  When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving. There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows.

  走到坟地的中间,从阴暗处传出来恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”声音,吓得他们再也走不动了。

  Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

  浑身颤抖着,他们发现有个老人正拿着榔头和凿子凿一块墓碑。

  "Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath.

  “噢,主啊,”其中一个屏住呼吸说,

  “You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

  “你吓死我们了,我们还以为你是鬼了。这么晚了你在这干什么呢?”

  "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"

  “这些傻瓜!”老人抱怨说,“他们拼错了我的名字!”

  爆笑的长的英语笑话篇三

  I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently.

  有一次我走进一家快餐店,

  I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries.

  被一个标志牌吸引了,上面写着“无油薯条”。

  I decided to give them a try.

  我打算尝尝,

  I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were dripping with fat.

  但是看到服务员从锅里捞出的一篮薯条沾满了油,真是吓了我一大跳。

  He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.

  他给我装了一袋,账单上显示出价钱。

  "Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes.... The fat is free!"

  “等会儿,”我说,“这不是无油的?”“是的,我们只对薯条收费,油是免费的!”

  爆笑的长的英语笑话篇四

  Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.

  三个信奉天主教的妇女和一个犹太老妇人在一起喝咖啡。

  The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a priest.When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".

  第一个妇女对她的朋友们说,“我儿子是一个牧师。每当他走进房间,人们总是称呼他神父”。

  The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop.Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".

  第二个妇女唧唧喳喳地说:“我的儿子是一名主教。每当他走进房间时,人们都尊称他大人”。

  The third woman says, "My son is a cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".

  第三个妇女说:“我的儿子是一名红衣主教。每当他走进房间时,人们都恭敬地称他阁下”。

  As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.

  这时那位身材瘦小的犹太老妇人默默地喝着她的咖啡,那三个妇女一起用微妙的眼神看着她,

  So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.

  意思是:“你儿子呢?” 于是她说,“我儿子身高六英尺五英寸,肩膀宽阔,肌肉发达,他长得非常英俊。

  He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells wonderful.Whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'

  他的头发很漂亮,衣着讲究,而且身上总是散发着一股令人心旷神怡的芳香。每当他走进房间时,女人们都会说,“哦,我的上帝呀!”

  
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