学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29 17:48:48
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.
"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.
"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.
"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."
He loves chocolate chip cookies 他爱吃巧克力块曲奇
An old man was laying on his death bed.
He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.
He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.
With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.
Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.
As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.
"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
How could a Chihuahua kill a Rottweiler?吉娃娃怎么可能会要了罗特韦尔的命
A man walks into a bar one day and asks,"Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
";Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him""What are you talkin' about?!"the biker says, disbelievingly.
"How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一台电脑
You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.
You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!
You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.
You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.
You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
要是你的生活一团糟，同时按下“ctrl, alt, delete”键，一切重新开始。