学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29 18:37:57
sorry to hear that 听到那样真令人难过
a foreign visitor touring the great american west came across an indian with his ear pressed to the ground.
"what are you listening for?" he asked.
"stagecoach pass about half hour ago."
"how can you tell?"
"broke my neck."
Have a Shot! 干一口吧!
The Irish doctor said to his patient," For the life of me, Paddy, I can't figure out what's wrong with you. It must be drink."
"That's all right, doc. I'll come back when you're sober."
A True Patriot一个真正热爱国家的人
The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire, anther was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.
Finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced," we've lost most of our power. The only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. We've already dumped the baggage, but it's not enough. I'm asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live."
After a few minutes of stunned silence, a Frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted" Vive la France!" and threw himself out the door.
Shortly thereafter, an Englishman rose to his full height, coolly declared," God Save the Queen!" and followed the gallant Frenchman.
Finally, a Texan rose from his seat, cried," Remember the Alamo!" and threw out the Mexican sitting next to him.
a politician was out on the indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressed native americans. he addressed a gathering of the people.
"the plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.
"umgwalagwala," responded the audience enthusiastically.
"i shan't rest until greater efforts are made on your behalf."
“ungwalagwala,”they responded more loudly.
Be Kind to Animals爱护动物
The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with three iguanas, but when the man ordered four thamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug. The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner could't help making a remark. " You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.
"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting us eat here. Some proprietors object."
"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.
"As a token of my appreciation, I'd like to give you this lobster." And the animal lover handed over a live, wriggling crustacean.
"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner."
"Oh, he's already had dinner. But I'm sure he'd love to take in a movie."