学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
Of Course There Are Limitations 当然，凡事总有例外
A musician had taken to heart the old saying,"Music hath charms to soothe savage beast,"and traveled to the darkest corner of Africa in an effort to prove it.
No sooner had he begun to play his violin in a jungle clearing than it was full of savage beasts,swaying in rhythm and tapping their paws to the delightful sounds.
Sunddenly,however,a huge lion emerged from the jungle,pounced on the violinist and made a hearty meal of him.
The other animals cried out in dismay,"Hey!We were enjoying that."
"Eh?"said the lion,cupping its hand to its ear.
Ancient Chinese Wisdom 古老的中国智慧
Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.
Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary, and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen—but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean of change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.
The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter’s shoulder.
Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage’s injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply embarrassed. Finally, he felt that he could not enter the emperor’s presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.
Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in irons.
And the moral of the story: If the Foo shits, wear it!
face it! 用脸去敲钟!
quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of notre dame cathedral.
but the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.
“of course, i’d like to give you the job,” said the priest, “but how will you manage it?”
“never fear,” replied the dauntless paraplegic. “just watch!”
the two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face. the effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. however, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.