学习啦【英语笑话】 韦彦时间：2016-09-29 18:46:55我要投稿
Look at My Socks 瞧瞧我的袜子
“Say, that’s an interesting pair of socks you’ve got on, Charlie, one green and one red.”
“Yeah, and I’ve got another pair just like it at home.”
Make a Wish 许个愿吧!
Every morning on his way to work, a businessman passed a house where he saw a woman beating her boy on the head with a loaf of bread. But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answered.
“Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread...”
“And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.”
“Well, today’s his birthday.”
A Remarkable Talent 一位了不起的天才
“Did you know I could tell time by the piano?” asked one friend of another .
“You’re kidding,” replied his companion dubiously.
“I’ll show you,” said the first man as sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.
Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting, “Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning?”
A Precocious Child 一个早熟的小孩
When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home, he was taken aback when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.
The salesman could only stammer out, “Er, is your mother at home?”
Answered the boy, “What do you think?”
City Suckers 城里来的傻瓜
Two city folk were on a drive in the country, but got completely. Pulling over next to an old farmer, they asked him if he knew the way back to the city.
“Nope. Can’t say that I do, ” replied the old hayseed.
“Well, can you tell us how to get back to the main highway?”
“Nope. Don’t know that, either.”
“Well, you sure don’t know much, do you?”
“Could be... But I ain’t lost, neither.”
True Dedication 好投入啊!
Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried. Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn’t home. Evening came and Mr. Fortesque still hadn’t returned.
The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband’s car pulling into the driveway. Rushing outside, she told her husband, “Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?”
“Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole.”
“Oh, my goodness, that’s terrible!”
“You’re telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie...”