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超爆笑的简短英文笑话

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-29

  冷笑话是近年来颇为流行的一种语言现象,主要以机智、幽默著称。下面是学习啦小编带来的超爆笑的简短英文笑话,欢迎阅读!

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇一

  A Special Guest 特别来宾

  A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope. Both men are allowed to enter heaven, and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion. But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the lawyer asks St. Peter about it.

  一位律师发现他和某教宗一起到达天堂的珍珠门,两个人都被允许进入天堂。律师被安置在一间豪华的别墅,但他却见到教宗被安排住在非常简陋的住所。由于好奇心的驱使,律师问圣彼得其中原委。

  “Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, “we have dozens of popes up here, but we’ve never had a lawyer before.”

  “哦,你看我们这里有好几十位教宗,可是你却是第一个上天堂的律师呢!”圣彼得答道。

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇二

  Jee Talk about Luck! 好运跟着保险来

  “For the last time, I don’t want any insurance!” said the harassed householder to the salesman.

  “这是最后一次了,我不要买任何保险!”被骚扰的房主对推销员说道。

  “Just a moment, sir. Please consider this: Just last month I sold a policy to a man much like yourself. The very next day his house caught fire. The house was completely gutted. To save himself, he had to leap from an upstairs window; he landed on his own car, went through the roof, broke both his legs and an arm.”

  “等一会儿,先生,请您仔细考虑一下:上个月有一位先生长得跟你很像,他刚买了一份保险,隔天他家就着火,房子内部全都被烧毁,为了保住性命,他从楼上窗户跳下来,恰巧落在他的汽车上,穿过车顶,他摔断了两条腿和一只手臂。”

  “Well, he was one of the lucky ones, wasn’t he?”

  “喔!他就是你所说的幸运人士中的一个,不是吗?”

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇三

  Thanks a Lot Sarge 多谢了,班长

  The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.

  一位班长刚完成部队晨间检查。

  “Before I dismiss you, there’s just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead. Dismissed.”

  “解散之前,有件事要宣布一下,二等兵卡瓦斯基,你母亲已经过 世了。解 散!”

  The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant’s heartlessness.

  当然,那位士兵遭受很大的打击,而排长也讶异于班长的冷酷无情。

  “For Heaven’s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one’s demise, please be a little more subtle,” he said.

  “看在老天的分上,班长,下次你要告诉弟兄们有亲人死亡时,请多用点技巧,委婉一些,”排长说道。

  A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity. Lining up his troops, he ordered, “All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you, Johnson.”

  几个礼拜之后,很不幸那位班长又有一次机会。集合了部队,他下 令道“:所有妈妈尚健在的,前进一步。你,约翰逊,除外。”

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇四

  all’s well that ends well 结局好的就是好

  three rather deaf friends met on a street corner.

  三个重听很严重的朋友在街角碰面。

  “windy today, isn’t it?” said the first.

  “今天风好大,不是吗?”第一个说。

  “no, it’s thursday,” said the second.

  “不,今天是礼拜四,”第二个说。

  “me too; let’s go get a drink,” said the third.

  “我也很渴,走,我们去喝杯饮料,”第三个说道。

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇五

  And you Think You’ve Got Problems 你认为你有问题吗?

  “Boy, have I got problems!” the man said to the psychiatrist.

  “乖乖,我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对精神病医生说道。

  “Go ahead and tell me about them.”

  “继续说,告诉我你的问题。”

  “Well, to start with, I’ve got an estate in the country, three Mercedes and a luxury yacht.”

  “喔,是这样的,我在乡下有房地产,另外还有三辆奔驰和一艘豪华游艇。”

  “So,what’s the problem?”

  “问题在哪里呢?”

  “I’m only make $100 a week! ”

  “我一星期只赚一百块美金!”

  超爆笑的简短英文笑话篇六

  Now That Hurts! 我的牙齿好痛喔!

  The world’s cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed.

  一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。

  “Well, sir,” said the dentist, “I’m afraid you’ve waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They’ll all have to come out.”

  “先生,”牙医说道“,恐怕你拖得太久了,这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。”

  “How much will that cost?” inquired the skinflint.

  “那得花多少钱?”小气鬼问医生。

  “A thousand dollars.”

  “一千块美金。”

  “Here’s a hundred,” said the tightwad. “Just loosen them up a bit.”

  “这里是一百块,”吝啬鬼说“。只要稍微把它们松动一点就好了!”

  
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