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超搞笑的英语故事笑话

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-30

  自古以来,我们中国人就有幽默的传统,而笑话作为一种流传最广的幽默形式,一直为人们喜爱。下面是学习啦小编带来的超搞笑的英语故事笑话,欢迎阅读!

  超搞笑的英语故事笑话篇一

  You Do Have a Problem 你真是有问题了!

  A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.

  一位老兄对医生说明他上厕所有困难。

  “Do you urinate in the morning?” asked the doctor.

  “你早上有小便吗?”医生问他。

  “Yeah, every morning at six o’clock.”

  “有,每天早上六点钟。”

  “And how are your bowel movements?”

  “那大便情况如何?”

  “Seven o’clock very morning, just like clockwork.”

  “像时钟一样,我每天准时七点钟上大号。”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “那问题到底出在哪里呢?”

  “I don’t get up until eight.”

  “我八点钟才起床。”

  超搞笑的英语故事笑话篇二

  The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall 爬得越高,跌得越重

  The psychiatrist was a bit perturbed. He had cured his patient of his delusions but still the man did not seem happy.

  一位心理医师感到有些厌烦。他已治好一名病人的幻想症,但那名患者似乎仍然不快乐。

  “What’s the matter, Mr. Jones?” he inquired. “Aren’t you glad to be dealing with the world realistically?”

  “到底是怎么一回事,琼斯先生?”他询问道“。难道你不喜欢踏实地面对周围的一切吗?”

  “Oh, sure, Doc, sure.... Only, last year I was Genghis Khan and now I’m nobody!”

  “喔,是的,医生,我是很愿意。只是去年我还是成吉思汗,现在我成了无名之辈!”

  超搞笑的英语故事笑话篇三

  Who Cut the Cheese? 谁在放屁?

  A young man was visiting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastric distress. Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas. Surreptitiously, he emitted a “silent but deadly.”

  有位年轻人第一次去拜访女朋友的父母亲。他好紧张,紧张到肠胃不舒服。令人苦恼的是,他急着要排除肠内的空气。于是他放了个臭得要命的闷屁。

  “Rover!” the girlfriend’s mother admonished.

  “路宝!”女朋友的妈妈警告家里的狗。

  The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out of his difficulties.

  那个老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下,想出了一个解决难题的方法来。他急于舒解,便放了一个更大的响屁。

  “Rover!” shouted the mother.

  路宝!”妈妈又一次叫着她家的狗。

  Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window-rattler.

  年轻人以为他的问题已经结束了,于是他放了一个连窗户都为之振动的大响屁。

  “Rover!” cried the mother, “get over here before he shits on you!”

  “路宝!”妈妈喊道“,快过来这边,免得他在你身上拉屎!”

  超搞笑的英语故事笑话篇四

  At Least You Get a Choice 至少你有所选择

  A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.

  一名罪人去世后,刚下地狱就被带往各处走走。

  “I’ll tell you how it works around here,” declared a particularly hideous devil. “You get your choice of three punishments. Here’s the first.”

  “我将告诉你这里的状况,”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。至少你有所选择“你三种刑罚中选一个,这是第一种。”

  The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.

  罪人看见男男女女反复地被浸入沸腾的热水中,吓得目瞪口呆。

  “Here’s the second.” The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people being continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.

  “再看第二种。”可怜的罪人看到一些不幸的人被凶恶的野兽和残酷的妖怪不停地追赶,吓得直打哆嗦。

  “And here’s the third.” A group was standing knee-deep in shit and sipping tea.

  “这是第三种。”一群人站在深及膝部的粪池中喝茶。

  “Well, this seems alright,” said the sinner. “I’ll take this one.”

  “这个看来还可以,我就选这个。”

  And he joined the group.

  罪人说着便加入了那群犯人。

  No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out “OK, tea-time’s over. Get back on your heads.”

  就在他加入不久,一个魔鬼大声喊道“:午茶时间结束,回到头下脚上倒立的姿势。”

  
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