学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
Where Do You Keep Yours? 你的东西放到哪儿去了?
The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
“Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?”
“Oh, shit!” exclaimed the eminent practitioner. “Do you know what this means?”
“Some asshole has got my pen!”
We’re in the Same Boat 同病相怜
The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye. His friends would often invite him dance parties, but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
But then, one evening, he spotted a girl with a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself. Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked, “Would you like to dance?”
“Would I?!”she exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah? Well, you’ve got a wooden leg!”
Its Advantages 老马识途
A young vice-president of a bad had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What’s more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous old hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.
“You don’t understand,” explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.
“Ha-ha,” chortled the hag. “Why, that’s nothing. It just so happens that I’m a witch, and I can solve all you problems.”
The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.
“There you are,” she said triumphantly. “Not only is the money returned, but there’s another $200,000 in your safe deposit box. And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory.”
“My God, can this really be true?” exclaimed the man.
“Of course,” replied the hag. “But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing. You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out.”
The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.
In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive crone turned to him and said, “Sonny, how old are you anyway?”
“Thirty-three,” replied the executive.
“And don’t you think you’re a little bit old to believe in withes?”