学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
A Proud Father 骄傲的老爸
The concerned father was puzzled because his son’s grades had been dropping steadily while he was at college, so he called the dean to find out what was wrong.
“Well, sir,” relied the dean, who always tried to be diplomatic, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your son’s become the most flagrant homosexual on campus, and spends all his time chasing after the lads on the football and basketball teams.”
“My God, that’s horrible!”
“But the good news is he’s just been elected Queen of the Homecoming Parade!”
And Where Did You Meet Your Wife? 你在哪里遇到你太太呢?
Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time. After the barbers had finished, each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.
“No, no,” answered the first man. “My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”
“Go ahead,” said the other. “My wife has never been in a whorehouse!”
Thirstin’ for Love 渴望爱情
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend’s apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.
But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a.m. before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, “Don’t pay the ransom! I’ve escaped!”
A Touching Farewell 一个感人的告别
Two old friends were out golfing. As they were preparing to tee off near a road, a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.
“Well, that was good manners on your part,” said his partner.
“Oh, it was the least I could do. After all, we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday.”
As the years turn
For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "