学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."
Second woman:"What about your husband?"
First woman:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”
I taught a "gifted and talented"class made up of particularly bright fifth-and-sixth graders. In the midst of a lesson on the power of observation, I realized that I was wearing two different styles of shoes. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible，I moved behind my desk and concluded the lesson from there，thankful that the students didn't seem to have noticed.
The next day，I discovered that my lesson had been learned all too well. Before me sat a class of bright, smiling students—each wearing mismatched shoes.
We had invited our friends Bob and Sheila to a special dinner. While my wife，Lee，prepared the meal，I rushed out to buy just the right wine.
Everything seemed perfect as we sat down at the dinner table，until I noticed that the ice bucket held an inferior wine.“Honey，“I said，”please bring out the bottle I purchased tonight. Bob and Sheila deserve better than this.“
"Dear,"Lee replied quietly, "Bob brought the wine.”
The swimsuit issue of a magazine that displayed a model wearing a skimpy bikini on its cover was occupying the attension of a wide-eyed man. Disturbed,his wife said，"That's shameful!If I looked like that I wouldn't leave my house!”
"To tell you the truth," the husband replied，"if you looked like that neither would I."
When my wife，Diana, and I met a new couple at church one Sunday, we stopped to introduce ourselves and to exchange pleasantries. We described the friendly neighborhood we lived in，and listened sympathetically as they lamented that theirs was just the opposite.
Saying our good-byes, we got in our cars and drove home. As we approached our house，we were horrified to see that our new-found friends were pulling into the driveway next to ours.