学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
After friends of mine landed at busy Newark Airport，they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation，the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant，a skycap was at his side. "Sir,"observed the porter,”you certainly have excellent communciation skills."
While vacationing in the Hawaiian Islands, I visited the World War II memorial atop the sunken U. S. battleship Arizona，a monument to those who died in the attack on Pearl Harbor. On board, I slipped on a stair-way and injured my thumb.
Back home，with the thumb still not healing properly，I called my doctor for an appointment. When I was asked the nature of my illness，I thought I' d give the background and began,"I was injured at Pearl Harbor..."
" Well，”the nurse interrupted.“It took you long enough to report it !"
When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day，I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I.
One day she waved and beckoned to me. When I strolled over，she asked，"Are you single?"
Why，yes,"I replied，smiling at her broadly.
" So is my mom，”she said.”Would you like to meet her?"
My mother and I returned to my parent's house late one evening to find my father，my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys，so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car-horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.
We drove into town and phoned home, waking Steven.When we got back，he let us in. Dad was in bed，snoring，with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off.
Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off,"he said. "I'm watching it !"
While traveling in Maine，I stopped in a coastal village to mail a birthday card. According to the pickup schedule on the box outside the tiny post office，I had missed the daily mail truck by five minutes. I went inside to ask about it.
"Don't worry. Mail doesn't go out until later this afternoon,"the postmistress said in a no-nonsense tone.
“But the sign on the box says that it's picked up at 8:30 in the morning,"I said.
"That's when I pick up the mail from the box and bring it in here，"she explained.