学习啦【英语笑话】 韦彦时间：2016-09-30 19:20:13我要投稿
A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”
Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "
We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.
When my daughter had her first child，her husband,Chen Xi，was serving in the army in a remote mountain area. One day，Chen Xi's superior called him into his tent and ordered him to do 50 push-ups. After he completed，Chen Xi asked him what he had done wrong.“I don't have any cigarettes and sweets,"the officer said. "You just had a son!"
On a visit to the United States，Gorbachev met a Russian who had immigrated to this country. "What do you do for a living here?"the Soviet leader asked him.
"My brother, my sister and I work in a big factory.”
"How do these capitalist bosses treat you?"
"Just fine，"answered the man.“In fact，if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time，he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents.”
Gorbachev was stunned.”How often does this happen?"
"Well，to me，actually never. But to my sister，several times. "
After many years of wanting an automatic-teller card, I finally got one. The first time I used it was at a bank machine in a nearby college town. A student was there, when I arrived，and I asked him if he'd like to help me figure out the proper procedure.
I explained that I wanted to make a deposit. He cut me off and said, "I don't think I can help you. I've never made a deposit.”
Several years ago, the Connecticut state police were required to put chains on their tires after the first snowfall.One officer, failing to do so，found himself in a skid that flipped the car over onto its roof.
A woman called the police station to report the accident. In reply to inquires on the officer's condition，she said，"Well，he seems okay, but you'd better get. someone out here real quick. He's standing on the car，putting chains on the tires !”