学习啦【英语笑话】 韦彦时间：2016-09-30 19:27:28我要投稿
Out-of-state friends of ours recently inherited several pieces of real estate which, unfortunately, are producing more taxes than income. When my wife invited thenn for a visit，back carne the response:"You know we'd love it. But right now we're just too property-stricken to go anywhere."
A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.
The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?".
My little girl loves animals，but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies，I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it.
When the humane-society truck pulled up，a big man got out，put on a pair of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse.
"Lady，"he said，seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. "
As a courier for an express delivery service，I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor."Oh，she works Monday through Friday and every other Saturday,“said the woman，“said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!"
When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her neighbor's package. "Oh，no, I can't do that，“she said. "I don't know her that well.”
I conducted orientation for groups of new employees of a large computer-software company. One part covered the legal paper work for any inventions they had patented prior to joining us. Although it didn't apply to everyone，I explained，I needed all of them to list any patents they had.One young woman looked uncertain, but began writing.
When I collected the forms，I saw that she had listed two pairs of shoes，with a bag to match.