学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
The kindergarten class I teach was excited about the February assembly,where they would participate by reciting a portion of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.One morning a student rushed into class shouting,"Mrs.michaels,Mrs.Michaels!I told my mommy and daddy the spaghettisburg address."
My friend Janet，a real-estate agent，was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farm house with a hand-lettered"For Sale"sign out frout.
After introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, Janet cruised from room to room，opening closets and cupboards，testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there"would help. Pleased with her assertiveness，Janet was hopeful that he would offer her the listing.
" Ma'am，" the man said，”I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all，but I think you read my sign wrong.It says，"Horse For Sale."
After driving up and down several lanes，I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer，I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look.His responding gestures were very complicated. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me，then at the parking space and then at himself , his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned，raised his palms upward and shrugged.
Once I parked，I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space. "You must be single，"he replied."If you were rnarried,you would have known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.''
One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture，he decided not to mention it to his wife,who tended to get jealous easily.
Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous， he waited until his wife was looking out of her window before he ,scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief , he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her .seat.” Honey,"she asked，“
have you seen my other shoe?"
Two Texans went up to Minnesota to go ice fishing.After setting up their tent，they started to cut a hole in the ice. As they pulled the cord on their chain saw，they heard a voice from above:"There are no fish under the ice.”
When they pulled the cord again，the same voice intoned:"There are no fish under the ice. "
"Is that you，God?"they asked in awe.
"No,"came the reply. "I own this ice rink-and I can tell you that there are no fish under the ice.”