用英文讲笑话
用英文讲笑话
笑话是幽默的一种形式,玩笑的目的就是逗乐、引人笑。幽默当然不只是笑话,幽默有许多其他的表达形式,如插科打诨的滑稽、相声、小品表演等。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语幽默故事，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默故事篇一
Watermelon 粉红色西瓜
A fruit vendor1 in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.
As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded2 and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. "Madam," replied the vendor, "when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?"
在菲律宾， 一个女人从一个水果商那里买了一个西瓜，水果商向她保证这个西瓜非常甜，因为是红瓤的。
当这个女人骑车回家时，西瓜在刹车时掉在地上摔裂了，女人吃惊地发现这个西瓜不是红瓤的，而是浅粉色的。 于是她返回去找水果商理论。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答，“如果一个人从车子上摔倒在地上，也会吓得脸色发白。 更何况是西瓜呢?”
英语幽默故事篇二
That's the Office You Have Now
When I started my current job, I was assigned to a cubicle1 with a five-foot-high partition. Promoted in three monks2, I asked for a private office in line with my new title. My boss reluctantly told me that there were three possibilities. The first was a room that housed file cabinets and printers. Another was an office that was empty except when one of the company'sfounders3 visited. The third was a conference room.
After we had discussed each of the alternatives, he told me to make a choice. Deciding to play it safe, I replied, "I want the one that will make the least amount of trouble and affect the fewest people." A smile shot across his face, and he leaned backward in his chair. "That's the office you have now." He said.
我刚开始做我现在这份工作时，被安排在一个有着5英尺高隔板地隔间里。 3个月之后。 我得到了晋升。 于是我提出了一个请求，想要拥有一个和我的新职位相符的私人办公室。 老板不情愿地告诉我，我有3个选择：第一个是放文件柜和打印机的房间，第二个是一间空办公室，可是有的时候，公司的一个创办人会过来看看，最后一个便是会议室。
在我们商讨了每一种选择方案后。 他让我做出选择。 为了使做出的选择更为保险，我回答：“我想要一个将会带来最少麻烦、影响最少人的那个房间。”一丝微笑从他的脸上掠过。 接着他往椅背上一靠，说道：“那就是您现在地办公室。 ”他说。
英语幽默故事篇三
Change Your Business 换个工作
The doctor looked at his patient's tongue, felt his pulse, knocked on his chest, and began: "Same old story, my friend. Too much confinement1. Do not deny it. What you need is plenty of outdoor exercise. Walk, Walk."
"But, doctor..."
"Don't argue with me. I am the doctor. Take my advice. Walk ten times as much as you do now. That's the only thing that will cure you."
"But my business..."
"That is just the trouble. Your business! Well, change your business, so that you can get a chance to walk more. What is your business?"
"I'm a letter-carrier."
医生看了看病人的舌头，号了号脉。 敲了敲他地胸部，说道：“还是老问题，朋友， 运动量太小，不要否认这个事实。 你需要大量的户外运动。 走路。 走路。 ”
“不过，医生……”
“不要同我争辩，我是医生。遵照我的嘱咐，走10倍于你现在所走的路，这是治愈你的疾病地唯一方法。 ”
“然而我的工作是……”
“这正是问题所在。 你的工作!好吧，换一个工作。 这样一来，你就有机会多走动了。 你是干什么的?”
“我是一名邮递员。 ”
英语幽默故事篇四
It's Good to Admit a Fault
John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.
"John!" Teacher says angrily.
"What? What's wrong?" John is awaken1.
"Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says.
"No one is laughing." Teacher says.
"No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset.
"Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.
约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。
“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。
“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。
“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。
“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。
“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是个好孩子。”老师为此感到满意。
英语幽默故事篇五
They are directly from America 它们是从美国直接带来的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit1 the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering2. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
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