爆笑最新冷笑话
爆笑最新冷笑话
冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。下面是学习啦小编带来的最新爆笑冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
最新爆笑冷笑话篇一
Another Engine Is Down(又一个引擎出了故障)
A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo an hour late ." After a short while, the trumpet (喇叭)rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our four engines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, the passengers started disturbance(骚动，动乱). Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, a chap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, let me get off quickly."
一架波音747飞行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭里传来机长的声音：“旅客们，我们的一个引擎坏了，因此我们将晚到达东京一个小时。”过了一会儿，喇叭再次响起：“诸位，我们四个引擎中又坏了一个引擎，为此我们将晚到三个小时。”这时，乘客开始骚动。有人说：“万一再坏一个，我们得呆在天上一整夜了。”还有已经受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你们的破飞机了，快让我下去。”
最新爆笑冷笑话篇二
As If Awakening From A Dream ( 如梦初醒)
A competition whose subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly: " Alcohol can break down conjugal (婚姻的，夫妻之间的)relation, even cause your wife to leave you … " A man shouts out at the news : " Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!”
最新爆笑冷笑话篇三
One hundred percent
Patient: Doctor, please tell me the truth. What are my chances of recovery? 病人：大夫，请告诉我实话。我恢复的机会有多大? Doctor: Just one hundred percent! Statistics show that only nine out of ten die of the disease. Now nine of my patients have already died of it. You are the tenth! 大夫：百分之百。数据显示得这种病的人10个里9个得死。现在我的9个病人都死于该病。你是第十个。
最新爆笑冷笑话篇四
A Fishy Story
Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
两个殷切的钓鱼爱好者要进行一次钓鱼之旅。他们租了一切所需的器材：鱼线盘，钓竿，浅水服，小船，汽车，甚至一间林中小屋。为此，他们花了好多的钱。
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
第一天去钓鱼，他们什么也没钓到。第二天和第三天也是如此。直到最后，在他们旅行的最后一天，其中一个人钓到了一条鱼。
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
回家的路上，他们都感到十分沮丧。一个人对另一个人说：“你发现没有?为了钓这条倒霉的鱼，我们花了1500块钱?”
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
另一个人说：“噢!幸亏我们没有钓到更多的鱼。”
最新爆笑冷笑话篇五
I Always Do
Two friends were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you? "
两个朋友正在谈工作。其中一个问：“为什么你被领班开了?”
Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watch others work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
另一个答道， “你知道领班是怎样站在旁边看别人干活的。我的领班嫉妒了，因为别人开始以为我是领班。”
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