两分钟好笑的英语笑话
两分钟好笑的英语笑话
英语笑话幽默话语分析的理论不断推陈出新,但是对于把英语作为外语学习的中国读者而言,文化因素在解读幽默的过程中扮演着更加重要的角色。学习啦小编分享两分钟好笑的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
两分钟好笑的英语笑话：How's Your Hearing!!!
Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Bubba gets in line.
When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?"
Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."
So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while.
After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?"
Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday in Dallas."
两分钟好笑的英语笑话：Three pastors 三个牧师的故事
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三个牧师的故事
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”
两分钟好笑的英语笑话：Happiness
"I am in desperate need of help -- or I'll go crazy. We're living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell."
"Do you promise to do whatever I tell you?" said the Master gravely.
"I swear I shall do anything."
"Very well. How many animals do you have?"
"A cow, a goat and six chickens."
"Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week."
The disciple(门徒，信徒) was appalled(惊骇的) . But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, a pitiable(可怜的) figure, moaning(呻吟) , "I'm a nervous wreck. The dirt! The stench(恶臭) ! The noise! We're all on the verge of madness!"
"Go back," said the Master, "and put the animals out."
The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. "How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy!
两分钟好笑的英语笑话：Humor Impaired Preacher
A preacher, who was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors(牧师) for their ministry.
Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers(电动扬声器) . One such boldly approached the pulpit(讲道台) and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.
The next week, our pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon(布道，训诫) . As he approached the pulpit that Sunday, he tried to rehearse(排练) the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.
Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that was not my wife!"
The congregation(集会，圣会) inhaled in surprise. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned(受惊的) silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"
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