爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译

时间：2016-11-04 13:42:49 韦彦867由分享

　　笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。学习啦小编分享爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!

　　爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Unbearable 受不了了

　　A traveler came to a small Middle Western town. He decided to stay for a few days.

　　When he was about to write his name on the hotel register, he saw a bedbug crawling across the page.

　　"It is really unbearable," he said, flinging down the pen. "I've been bitten by fleas in Missouri, mosquitos in Jersey, horse flies in Kansas-but this is the first place I was ever in where abug looked over the hotel register to find out the number of my room. Why, where on earth I should go!"

　　有个旅行家来到中西部的一个小市镇。他决定留下待几天。

　　当他正要在旅店的登记薄上签名时，看到有个臭虫从单子上爬过去。

　　他就扔下手中的笔说：“真受不了了，我在密苏里被跳蚤咬过，在西泽被蚊子咬过，在堪萨斯被马蝇咬过—而在这里会有一个臭虫到登记台来找我的房间号码，我还是第一次遇到呢。

　　爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译：A Car Thief 盗车贼

　　A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police.

　　The prosecutor asked him, "Now tell the court how you came to take that car." To defend himself, the man said, "The car was parked by a cemetery. I thought the owner was dead, and then I took it."

　　有个人有长期偷车的经历。当他又一次偷车时，被警察抓住了。检控官对他说：“现在要告诉法庭你是怎样偷走这部车的。”

　　检察官问他，“现在据实交代你为何要偷这辆车。”这个人为自己辩解说：“这部车是停在一个墓地旁的。我以为车主已经死了，就把它开走了。”

　　爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Simple Calculation 简单估算费

　　A housewife didn't know how to estimate the cost of living, so she asked her husband about it。 Her husband said, "It's very simple. Take our income and add 30 per cent." 有个家庭主妇不知道怎样估算他们的生活费用，就去问她的丈夫。她的丈夫说：“很简单。就是把我们的收入另外加30%”

　　爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Each Man Has His Merits 各有所长

　　A foreigner applied for citizenship paper in New York. The judge asked him, "Do you want to be made a citizen of the United States?" The foreigner replied, "Yes, Mr. Judge."

　　Then the judge said, "I must examine you, do you know how many states are in the Union?" The foreigner answered, "Mr. Judge, I think I should talk to you that each man has his merits. You know your business so you know how many states are in the Union. I know my business, so I know how many bananas are in a bunch."

　　有个外国人在纽约申请美国公民身份的证件。法官为他：“你想成为美国公民吗?” 外国人回答说：“是的，法官先生。”

　　法官说：“那我要考考你。你知道美国有多少个州吗?”外国人回答说：“法官先生，我想应该和你讲一下，人是各有所长的，你懂你的业务，所以你知道美国有多少个州，我懂我的业务，所以我知道一串香蕉有多少只。”

　　爆笑的好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Giving Degrees 授予学位

　　Woodrow Wilson disapproved very strongly of indiscriminate(无差别的) giving of honorary degrees when he was president of Princeton University.

　　He said, "Our universities have learned recently to give honorary degrees carefully. But in the past it was very promiscuous(混杂的). I had met a n uncouth(笨拙的) person who had three degrees, but then he spoke and behaved very rudely."

　　I asked an acquaintance why it was. He said, "Well, the third was given because he had had two. He was given the second because he had had one, and he was given the first because he had gone."

　　伍德罗·威尔逊当普凌斯顿大学的校长时，强烈反对随便给人授予荣誉学位。

　　他说：“我们的大学最近才懂得授予授予荣誉学位要慎重，以前却是很随便的。我曾遇见一个很粗鲁的人，他有三个这样的学位，可是他的言谈举止很不文明。”

　　我问一个熟人为什么这个人能得到三个荣誉学位，他说：“授予他第三个学位是因为他已有了两个，给他第二个是因为他已有了一个，而给他第一个则是因为他没有学位。”

　　
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