关于短篇的英语笑话大全笑死人
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。学习啦小编整理了关于短篇的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
关于短篇的英语笑话：One real man 一个真正的男子汉
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domainwere ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell thesechickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
关于短篇的英语笑话：Doctor Swift and the boy 斯威夫特博士与小厮
A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.
Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.
The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.
The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.
The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.
斯威夫特博士与小厮
在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。
斯威夫特转过身来说：孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。
小厮坐了下来，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说进来。博士进了门，走到桌旁说道：先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。
小厮回答说：谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。
博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。
关于短篇的英语笑话：Clean Glass 干净的杯子
Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you? The man behind the bar asked.
Joe looked at Fred and said, Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?
Yes, that's all right. Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that.
The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. Which of you asked for the clean glass?
干净的杯子
乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。天气很暖和，到处都有许多灰尘。12点半的时候，他们觉得非常口渴，便停下来去吃午饭了。他们找到最近的一家酒吧，走进去坐下吃他们的三明治。
下午好，先生。你们想要点什么?柜台后面的伺应问道。
乔看了看佛瑞德说：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脱啤酒。这样可以吗，佛瑞德?
好的，可以。佛瑞德说。然后他转过去跟柜台后面的侍应说：我要啤酒装在一个干净的杯子里!别忘了。
柜台后面的侍应倒满杯子后，拿给乔和佛瑞德，接着说：刚才哪一位要干净的杯子的?
关于短篇的英语笑话：Paddy
There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own, on which hebestowed the name of Paddy, and loved mightily. He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays, which he was spending with some relatives in the country.
Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor. The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return,she broke it very gently,therefore, and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed. Later, however, she heard him weeping lustily in his bed. He was inarticulate with grief, but his brother explained that he was cryingabout Paddy.
But, said the mother, I told him about it this morning, and he did not seem to mind!
The brother explained, yes, but he thought you said Daddy.
帕蒂
从前有一个小男孩，他得到了一条完全属于他自己的小猎狗。他给小狗取名帕蒂，对它宠爱万分。他要到乡下一些亲戚家去度假，可又不能带上他的宠物，为此他很伤心。
他不在家的时候，帕蒂在一次不幸的车祸中失去了年轻的生命。男孩的母亲怕他回家时听到这个消息太难过;因此她相当小心地把这个消息透露给他，而颇为令人惊讶的是小伙子看起来并不怎么在意。可是，后来她听见他在床上哭得死去活来。他伤心得说不出话来，但是他的哥哥解释说他在为帕蒂痛哭。
可是，这位母亲说：我今天早晨告诉他了，他好像根本不在乎啊!
他哥哥解释说：是的，可他以为你说的是爸爸。
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