简短正能量英文笑话阅读
笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编精心收集了简短正能量英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
简短正能量英文笑话篇1
Charity Begins at Home
慈善应由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitable organization of which he was a member.
山姆，希德尼正挨家挨户推销他所属的一家慈善机构的彩券以筹募基金，
One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
有一天早上他敲了苏利文太太的门。
"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society',event)">Society," said Sam.
“您早!苏利文太太，我是代表南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会的。”
"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.
“你说什么啊?，’老太太大声问道。
"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIAI, SOCIETY',event)">SOCIETY ! "
“我说我正为南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会卖彩券!”
"Eh?"
“哦?”
"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY',event)">SOCIETY ! "
“彩券!南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
"You'll have to speak up, young man; there's no use mumbling. ',
“你应当说大声点，年轻人，喃喃低语是没用的。”
"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!干××，苏利文太太!”山姆离开时屏气说。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and Social Society',event)">Society. "
苏利文太太关门说道： “去你妈的，南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
简短正能量英文笑话篇2
Where Do You keep Yours ?
你的东西放到哪儿去了?
The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
一位上了年纪的著名医生正在各病房做例行巡视，一位年轻的实习医生跟着他，突然那名实习医生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“医师先生，您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道，“你知道那表示什么吗?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
简短正能量英文笑话篇3
A young vice president of a bank had embezzled 0,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.
一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上，银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竞收拾行李，离他而去。
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous olci hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.
年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。就在他要跳下水时，一位面目可憎的老巫婆跑上前去，制止了他的行动。
"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.
“你不了解我的痛苦，”银行家说道，并且把他的困境告诉老巫婆。
"Ha-ha," chortled the hag. "Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems "The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.
“哈哈!”巫婆咯咯地笑，“那也没什么，刚好我是个女巫，我可解决你所有的难题。接着女巫似乎全神专注地在空中比划一些玄妙的符号，口中还念着一大串奇怪的话。
"There you are," she said triumphantly. "Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory. "
“你的问题我都帮你解决了，”她得意洋洋地说道，“不仅要回了你那二十万，你的保险柜里面还多了二十万美金!你太太也已回家，而且我已从她的记忆中除去了这件不愉快的事!”
"My God, can this really be true?" exclaimed the man.
“我的天啊，你说的是真的吗?，’那个人说道。
"Of course," replied the hag. "But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing. You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out. "
“当然啦!”巫婆回答道，“但是你如果要我保持目前这个状况的话，就必须答应我一件事，带我到旅社并和我做爱一个晚上。”
The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.
那个老兄吞了一口口水，因为女巫不但长像可怕，而且浑身臭气逼人。由于别无选择，他答应了她的要求，整个晚上他屏住气息，别过脸避开巫婆的视线，不停地履行他的承诺。
In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive crone turned to him and said, "Sonny, how old are you anyway?"
隔天早上，银行家正在穿衣服，那令人厌恶的丑老太婆面向他问道：“小老弟，你究竟多大年纪呢?”
"Thirty-three," replied the executive.
“三十三，”老兄答道。
"And don't you think you're a little bit old to believe in witches?"
“那你不认为你实在年长得可以不相信有巫婆的存在了吗?”
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