英语搞笑笑话9篇

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　　英语搞笑笑话一：A Woman's answer

　　A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"

　　"Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."

　　一位丈夫对他的妻子说：“为什么上帝把妇女创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?” “噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”

　　英语搞笑笑话二：　Only One Eye to Settle On

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

　　姑娘找到媒人，说：“你欺骗了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前为什么不告诉我?” “怎么没告诉你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你们第一回见面后，我就说，他一眼就看中你了。”

　　英语搞笑笑话三：You May Select可以选择

　　The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.

　　One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"

　　The wife said, "You may select the dish today."

　　The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"

　　"Cabbage."

　　"The others?"

　　"None."

　　"Then how to select?"

　　"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.

　　丈夫抱怨妻子总是做同样的一种菜。

　　一天，丈夫回到家，问妻子：“亲爱的，今天我们吃啥菜?”

　　妻子回答：“今天你可以选择。” 丈夫感到非常高兴，又问：“都有哪些菜呢?”

　　“炒白菜。”

　　“还有呢?”

　　“没了。”

　　“那你要我怎么选呢?”

　　“吃还是不吃!”妻子一本正经地说道。

　　英语搞笑笑话四：The Reason of Being Late

　　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

　　迟到的原因

　　老　师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。

　　英语搞笑笑话五：The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　新西兰的气候

　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

　　马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

　　老师：错了。

　　马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

　　英语搞笑笑话六：My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指头

　　老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?

　　凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

　　老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?

　　凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

　　英语搞笑笑话七：All Except the Music

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　除了音乐

　　一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”

　　“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

　　英语搞笑笑话八：The plural Form of "Child"

　　Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

　　Tom: Men.

　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　Tom: Twins.

　　"孩子"的复数形式

　　老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?

　　汤姆：男人们。

　　老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?

　　汤姆：双胞胎。

　　英语搞笑笑话九：When Do People Talk Least?

　　Student A: When do people talk least?

　　Student B: In February.

　　Student A: Why?

　　Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

　　人们什么时候说话最少?

　　学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?

　　学生乙：在二月。

　　学生甲：为什么呢?

　　学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。