英语小笑话
笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语小笑话，欢迎欣赏!
英语小笑话篇1
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner.
Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerbywho'd seen everything remarked："That's extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did."
"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts."
一个盲人领着一只导盲犬站在十字路口处等着过马路。就在这个时候，导盲犬把腿一抬，开始往主人身上撒尿。
这个盲人十分平静地从口袋里拿出了一块饼干给狗吃。一个过路人刚好看到了这一切，很不解地说：“你的脾气真好，尤其是那只狗都做了这样的事情，你还给它饼干吃。”
“事实并非如此。”盲人回答说，“我只是想弄清楚它的嘴在哪里，这样一来，我就可以踢它的屁股了。”
英语小笑话篇2
Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something.
"He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife.
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I’ll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?"
每当邻居家的男子向罗宾逊家走来的时候，罗宾逊就知道他一定又是来借东西的。
“这次他什么也别想借走。”罗宾逊朝他的妻子小声嘀咕道。
“嗯，我想知道你今天早上是否用这把电动锯?”邻居又开始借东西了。
“噢，真是太不好意思了，”罗宾逊一幅自鸣得意的表情，“其实，我要用一整天。”
“假如是那样的话，”邻居说，“你肯定不会用高尔夫球杆了，你不介意把它借给我吧?”
英语小笑话篇3
I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He’d just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.
Dad was chatting up a farmer’s wife once，when I discovered this pig...
It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well, I was ascurious as could be, so I asked the farmer:"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"
"Well, boy. That is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."
"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"
"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids."
"Then why does the pig have a wooden leg?"
"I told you, boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!"
"Yes, sir. But why does he have a wooden leg!"
"Boy, a pig like that, you don’t eat all in one sitting!"
我小的时候生活在华盛顿。到了周末，爸爸常常带我们到南部的卡罗莱纳州去玩。正是在那里我们看到了什么是“真正的生活”。爸爸会沿路开一会儿车，然后把车停在路边，找农场里的人聊聊天。
正当爸爸和一个农妇聊天时，我发现了这只猪……
那只猪很漂亮，可只有三条腿，右后腿还是用木头做的!我对这点很好奇。于是就问那个农民：“先生，为什么你的猪有一只木头腿啊?”
“是这样的，孩子。这是一只勇敢的猪。有天晚上，我和妻子正在房里睡觉时，这只猪跑进来叫醒了我们，我们才知道房子着火了。我们立刻跑了出去，才保住了性命。”
“这只猪的腿是在那场火灾中烧坏的吗?”
“不是的，它完好无损地跑了出去。实际上，它甚至还跑了回去，把我们的孩子也救了出来。”
“那为何这只猪会有一只木头腿呢?”
“我已经告诉你了，孩子。那是只勇敢的猪!一只英勇的猪!它救了我们全家人的性命!”
“是的，先生。可是为何它有只木头腿呢?”
“孩子，像这样的猪，我们是不舍得一次就把它吃光的!”
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