外国最新幽默笑话四则

外国最新幽默笑话四则

　　笑话是一种增强快乐的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话四则，希望大家喜欢!

　　外国最新幽默笑话：主席

　　A parrot fancier that happened into a London pet shop noticed a particularly colorful bird and asked its price.

　　一位鹦鹉爱好者碰巧在伦敦宠物店看到一只颜色鲜艳的鹦鹉，于是就开口问它的价钱。

　　"Five thousand pounds,” the shop owner replied.

　　“五千英镑”，店主回答说。

　　"Five thousand pounds?" the man asked. "Why so much?"

　　“五千英镑?”那个男人问，“为什么这么贵?”

　　"Well，this bird speaks fluent Italian，Spanish and French, is brushing up on his German and starting to study English,” came the reply. "With the European Community's unification，he' 11 be a great asset."

　　“因为这只鸟能流利的说意大利语、西班牙语和法语，德语也学得差不多了，并且马上就开始学习英语，”店主回答说，“等到欧盟统一，它将是一笔不小的财富。”

　　I don’t care about the Common Market ,”the parrot fancier said. "What about that gray one in that other cage?"

　　“我可不在乎什么共同市场”，那个鹦鹉爱好者说，“那个笼子里的灰色的鹦鹉多少钱?”

　　The gray one was 15，000 pounds，he was told，because the bird spoke Arabic，Chinese, and Korean and was learning Japanese-“the languages of the 21st century.”

　　店主告诉他那个灰色的要一万五千英镑。因为那只鸟会说阿拉伯语、汉语和韩语，而且正在学习日语。这些都是二十一世纪的语言。

　　“I’ m too old to worry about the 21stcentuy,” the frustrated parrot lover replied.

　　“我可活不到那会儿，管不了二十一世纪的事”，那个失望的鹦鹉爱好者回答说。

　　"What about that mangy brown one up on that perch in the corner?"

　　“高处站在角落里的那只棕色的鹦鹉多少钱?”

　　"The brown one，”said the shopkeeper, "was 25 , 000 pounds.”

　　“棕色的?”店主说，“两万五千英镑。”

　　"Twenty-five thousand pounds!” ex-claimed the customer. "What does he do to worth that?"

　　“两万五千英镑?”他高呼道，“它怎么值那么多钱?”

　　"We’re not sure,”the pet-shop owner replied. "But the other two call him chairman.

　　“我们也不知道，”宠物店老板回答，“只是因为刚才的那两只都管它叫主席。”

　　外国最新幽默笑话：人就是这样

　　A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

　　一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“阿拉伯人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的阿拉伯人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

　　But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do come，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without complaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELCOME."

　　但是第二天，那个阿拉伯人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个阿拉伯人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些阿拉伯人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

　　外国最新幽默笑话：陪审团主席

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　一位小城市的法官正在处理一个酒后驾车的案件。被告曾经有过酒后驾车的记录，现在需要一个陪审团做出裁决。那时已经是下午四点，找个陪审团来会浪费很多时间。所以，法官就宣布休庭，然后就去随便找些人来充当陪审团。他正好发现在大厅里有十二个律师，就把他们叫来组成了陪审团。

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

　　这些律师们认为能做陪审团将会是个新奇的经历，所以就同意和那个法官回到了法庭。审讯十分钟就结束了，因为很明显被告是有罪的。接着，陪审团进行商议，法官做好了回家的准备，每个人都在等待着最后的结果。

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

　　差不多三个小时以后，法官已经等不及了，他派法警去看看陪审团是否做出了最后的判决。当法警回来的时候，法官问他:“怎么样?他们做出了最后的判决没有?”

　　The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

　　法警摇摇头说:“判决?天哪，他们还在进行推选陪审团主席的演讲呢!”

　　外国最新幽默笑话：两个猎人

　　Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters，the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn' t be able to take off with more weight than that.” The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.

　　两个猎人租了一架小型飞机带他们去加拿大的一个偏僻地区。当两个猎人到达目的地下飞机时，飞行员告诉他们说:“记住，飞机只能带一只驼鹿，否则飞机会因为过重而无法起飞。”两个猎

　　人就这样打猎去了。

　　The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, and you' 11 have to leave one because we won’t be able to take off with that much weight.” "Oh, come on,” beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you’re just a chicken.”

　　过了一个星期，当飞机返回原地接他们的时候看到他们身边有两只驼鹿。飞行员愤怒地说:“我告诉过你们，只能带一只驼鹿。你们必须丢下一只否则飞机过重无法起飞。”“哦，别这样”，两个猎人哀求道，“去年那个飞行员让我们带了两只驼鹿呢，你胆子也太小了。”

　　Not wanting to be accused of being a coward，the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh，I’d say about a hundred yards farther than last year.

　　飞行员怕别人说他是胆小鬼，于是就同意带上两只驼鹿一起走。当飞机穿过一个湖后开始迫降。飞行员用尽办法也无济于事，飞机坠落在湖边的一片树林里。过了不久，一个猎人起身看着

　　飞机的残骸说:“我们这是在哪?’’另一个猎人回答:“哦，我觉得比去年还远了一百码呢。”