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英语幽默爆笑小笑话

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  英语幽默小笑话

  The Frog and the Psychic Hotline

  A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.

  The frog says, This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?

  No, says the psychic. Next semester in her biology class.

  Is the Cat There?

  英语小笑话范文

  A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

  As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

  The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

  Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

  He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right

  again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

  Hours later the man calls home to his wife: Jen, is the cat there?

  Yes, the wife answers, why do you ask?

  Frustrated, the man answered, Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!

  英语笑话参考

  Shoulda Said

  This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?

  Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.

  Okay, says the guy. He turns to his dog. Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse?

  Roof! The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

  THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!

  Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?

  Ruff!

  What the hell are you tryin' to pull, mister?

  Okay, okay, says the man. One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?

  Ruth.

  The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.

  Geez. D'ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?


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